Finding Myself, Finding You
by thereisalight
Summary: Kelsi Nielsen has never really fit in. Even now that she has real friends, she doesn't feel like she truly belongs. But could all of that change? Ryelsi, some Jelsi and Zelsi friend .
1. Prologue: Walking Home

**Before I begin, a little background. I first saw HSM pretty recently and thought I would hate it, but actually thought it was decent, with decent music and liekable characters, though Kelsi was my favorite by far. Because of this (and the lack of stories about her) I decided to write this. Its a bit emo in this chapter but it gets considerably lighter. Hope you enjoy, and I don't own any High School Musical characters, plots, etc.**

Kelsi slowly began her walk away from East High, undergoing her daily ritual of trying to not get hit by the cars of her fellow students, inevitably a bit too excited about the end of the school day. She thought about how much easier it would be for her if she could drive, but unfortunately her dad had forbidden her to drive until after graduation. It hadn't irritated her until a few weeks ago, when senior year began and she realized that just about all of her classmates had their licenses.

Of course, this meant that she could get a ride from someone fairly easily, but Kelsi had never been comfortable asking for a ride, even from someone who she knew fairly well, such as those in the Drama Club or Orchestra, which she had joined last year, in hopes of having more freedom with her music, which she had had some success with, and making new friends, which was markedly less successful. So she generally only asked for a ride when she had a lot to do after school (fairly rare) or was getting together with someone (virtually never).

Though she often complained about it, when Kelsi was being fully honest with herself, she didn't mind walking home, even though it was about a mile-long walk. It gave her a bit of exercise and fresh air, something that periodically shutting herself out from the world didn't offer. More importantly, it provided her with a good, quiet setting to think. Her thoughts on her walks home ranged from the events of the day to homework and ways to put it off, from new musical ideas to hopes for the future. Kelsi always took the longer but quieter back roads in order to have a more peaceful companion to her ideas, thoughts, and hopes.

Today there was one subject that kept pushing itself into her mind. She had tried to push it out by mentally experimenting with her latest piece and even thinking about the lecture in English class, but it kept coming back. She had been sitting near the circle of her…friends. She used this term loosely, as she still wasn't comfortable around the nice but overexposed group that Troy and Gabriella had created after the Winter Musicale. This consisted, of course, of the power couple themselves. Both Troy and Gabriella were very sweet people, and Kelsi knew that they made a great couple. But they had never known or tried to know Kelsi outside of the "playmaker" setting, which was a persona that Kelsi initially appreciated, but now felt that it defined her. This was certainly a step above "small person," but it still limited her to a single identity rather than a whole person.

Next to Troy and Gabriella was "the 'other' it couple," as Kelsi secretly called them, Chad and Taylor. She hadn't gotten to know either of them too well, as neither were involved in the Musicale, but she admired Taylor's ability to be a fun loving genius, and Chad's great sense of humor, even if he could be a jerk at times. On the whole, they seemed like a watered down version of Troy and Gabriella: great people with whom Kelsi didn't feel she was fit to be friends.

Then there were Zeke and Jason. For Kelsi, they were probably the two biggest surprises of the group. Zeke, who Kelsi was initially intimidated by merely because he seemed twice her size, had turned out to be one of the sweetest people she had ever met. They had even bonded somewhat over the shared hobby of cooking, though it was much stronger for Zeke than for her. Jason was a similar story. Kelsi's parents were acquaintances with Jason's, so she had had some idea about his personality. Or at least she thought she did. His spacey nature often made him seem like the prototypical jock, but over the past few months, Kelsi had found out that this was not true at all. In fact, when he was focused, Kelsi had found Jason to be both engaging and surprisingly intelligent. In her mind, Kelsi described Jason as a nerd trapped in a jock's body, of course, meaning nerd in the best sense of the word. She wasn't exactly making friendship bracelets with either of the basketball players, but Kelsi acknowledged the rapport that she had built with both of them, both because of shared interests and the fact that they both seemed to know something about being lost in the fray, as they both seemed to be overshadowed by Troy and Chad, their more popular counterparts.

Then there were the Evans twins, who Kelsi felt she would never be able to relax around, particularly Sharpay. Of course, Ryan was always very sweet to her. In fact, she considered him to be her closest friend within the new group. But Kelsi always thought that Ryan acted this way mainly to make up for his sister's aggressive personality and the mistreatment that they had once shown her. But whenever she thought this, there was a tiny voice that came up in her head, reminding Kelsi that maybe she was just trying to convince herself of this in order to avoid the light feeling she got in her stomach when she thought of him.

Then there was Sharpay, a girl who stood apart from the rest. Kelsi had spent the majority of her pre-Musicale time being terrified of Sharpay's domineering personality. While she had undoubtedly softened somewhat over the summer, Kelsi's perception wasn't much different. But now there was something new that accompanied her slight fear: annoyance. Not necessarily annoyance at Sharpay herself, but rather at her situation. Sharpay had spent most of the previous year being rude to the gang, and had even schemed to split up Gabriella and Troy. And yet, she was now fully accepted without question. It wasn't that Kelsi didn't think she should be trusted, for even she had noticed a genuine change in Sharpay. But rather, she was irritated that she, who had been nice to everyone, and even went out of her way to help Troy and Gabriella in the Musicale, was still on the fringes.

It was this thought that brought Kelsi to the events of the day that she couldn't get out of her head. She had been a few minutes behind everyone else, but still arrived in homeroom before the bell. When she came in, Kelsi sat down in her usual spot, close enough to the group to be included, but still not exactly in their circle. The others were talking about various subjects, when Troy suddenly said "So guys, what are we doing on this weekend?" There were a few suggestions and little debates, including Chad and Taylor arguing about the merits of "Die Hard 9." After about a minute, it was decided that they would have one of their movie marathons at Chad's house, with everybody bringing something, though no one had asked Kelsi what she would bring. When Troy asked if anyone needed a ride, he was "reminded" that they had all gotten their licenses over the summer, and they continued to make their plans, as Kelsi turned away from the group slightly, pretending to be highly interested in the book she was reading. Throughout the day, she had talked to both Ryan and Jason, trying to subtly bring up the homeroom occurrence, and see if there was any reason why she was seemingly forgotten. But neither picked up the hints she was dropping. Maybe she was just being too subtle, or maybe her friends just didn't want her around.

It wasn't the fact that she wasn't invited to Chad's house. Most of the time, Kelsi was just as happy at home reading or writing music as she would be in more social settings. What really bothered her was that she was, once again, forgotten in the group that ignored cliques, and was supposedly all-inclusive. Then there was the fact that this seemingly inconsequential memory wouldn't get out of her mind. It was the fact that she couldn't let go of something so small that made her so irritated and embarrassed. And when she felt like this, she always thought of bad memories, which was, in this case, the homeroom scene. It was a vicious cycle that Kelsi seemed incapable of getting out of until she arrived at her house, opened the door and walked over to her piano.

**Well, hope that you enjoyed it. I'm not going to beg for reviews or anything, but I would appreciate any thoughts or criticism. I've written about 4 chapters so far, but I'll probably hold back a little on posting them just because I have a pretty full schedule and don't want to go too long without updating. I'll probably put the next chapter up by tomorrow, maybe even later today. **


	2. A Change in Plans

**Here's another chapter, hope you liked the last one. It was a bit more melodramatic than I was going for but I think this chapter makes up for that a bit. Also, if you haven't figured from the many of possible pairings, I don't really have a definite idea for where the story is going, but it does develop more of a plot in this chapter. And to clarify, its most likely going to be ryelsi, but there's a decent chance of jelsi and I'm not ruling out zelsi completely. Who knows, there may not be any pairings at the end.**

**Also, I don't own High School Musical.**

No matter what her problem, even if she was screaming from the inside, it always seemed to have a calming effect on her. It wasn't just the sound of the piano, or even the ability it gave her to release the anger that she often kept pent up, though these things all helped. Most important was the mere feel of her piano. She knew each key, with its slight scratches and rough edges, more intimately than she knew anyone. Whenever she would play another piano, something didn't quite feel right. She had the same connection to the music that it emitted, but the actual physical act, so powerful with hers, was lost. Beyond the physical closeness that she had with the instrument, it was also meaningful to her emotionally. The piano was the only real link that she had to her mother, who had passed away when she was still very young. The piano had been her mother's, and while Kelsi had several pictures of the woman she had never known, when she was playing the piano, Kelsi could almost imagine that her mother's spirit was being released with the notes.

So even though she was feeling awful when she opened her front door, a couple of hours with the piano, working on a new song, rehearsing a very challenging Tchaikovsky piece that her private teacher had given her, and merely playing what her heart felt at the moment, and Kelsi could hardly remember why she had been so distraught. With a small smile on her face, Kelsi went to her room and opened her History textbook. "If I'm not going to be having any fun tonight, might as well get a jump on homework," she said to herself, "at least I'll be free for tomorrow, when I'm sure my social calendar will be packed," she thought, smiling grimly at the thought.

As she began to read about the roots of the Renaissance, Kelsi thought about just how long it had been since she had done something outside of school, and was annoyed to realize that she couldn't figure it out. There hadn't been anything since school had started, so it must have been the end of summer party at Troy's house, one of the group's social events to which she had managed an invitation. Reminiscing on the party, Kelsi had mixed feelings. It had really been two parties in one. The first, happening in the afternoon, was your typical loud high school party. Kelsi didn't recognize half of the people there, and the music was playing at an obnoxious level for the whole time. Someone had snuck in some alcohol, so the element of others' drunkenness was yet another high point of the party. She remembered spending most of the party in a smaller room with Ryan, as parties were one of the few times when Sharpay and him, who were still very close despite a rift developing between them over the summer. Ryan, normally excitable and perky, had a tendency to become withdrawn and claustrophobic in large groups. Sharpay on the other hand, was the life of the party. She loved to dance, flirt, and drink (though, she didn't get nearly as intoxicated as many people had, and always managed to keep her composure).

Of course, Kelsi didn't mind spending a couple of hours in a quiet corner with Ryan. He was always a great conversationalist: smart, funny, and able to show interest in everything that Kelsi brought up, from what classes they would have together to a song that she had been working on. He even helped her work on the lyrics, which had always been a weak point for Kelsi in songwriting. Overall it was a nice time, and it was one of the first times that she realized just how easy Ryan was to talk to. But paradoxically, ever since she had realized this, it had seemed more and more difficult to remain comfortable around him.

The remainder of the party was spent trying to find something to drink that didn't have alcohol. This was surprisingly hard, and she spent a good 20 minutes just navigating through the crowd. But it wasn't all bad, as it did lead to her first real conversation with Zeke, who she saw futilely trying to describe a new recipe he had been working on to Sharpay. "So I thought to myself, a dash of peppermint extract would be really good in these…" he was saying, but got cut off midway, as Sharpay wandered away, apparently unaware that Zeke had ever been there. Kelsi felt sorry for Zeke, and walked in his direction. "Oh, hey Kels," he said, trying to speak loud enough so that he could be heard over the dull roar of the party, but quiet enough so that there was at least an illusion of privacy. "Hi. No luck with Sharpay, I take it?" she asked, trying not to sound as if she had been spying. "So you saw me crash and burn, as usual?"

"Well if she's not interested then it's her loss," Kelsi told him, imitating what she imagined guys would say to each other in situations like this. Apparently it had at least some effect, as Zeke did give a slight smile. "What were you talking about anyway? I heard something about peppermint," Kelsi said with a small smile at one of her favorite flavors. "Yeah, just a new recipe I'm working on. I call it the Sharpay Cookie," Zeke said, trying to hide an embarrassed smile, which Kelsi reciprocated. "What are they, exactly?"

"Well, basically they're a variation on no bake cookies, with a few of my own-"

"No bake cookies? I love those!" Kelsi said quickly, surprising both herself and Zeke. Neither of the two could remember her ever interrupting someone, ever. It was now Kelsi's turn to give an embarrassed smile, but Zeke was very graceful about her embarrassment, even offering to make her a batch. After a few more minutes of talking to Zeke, Kelsi went back to her corner to talk to Ryan again.

After everyone had left the initial party, the group stayed behind to have a smaller celebration. Kelsi was thinking about leaving, but her confidence was boosted by her successes with Ryan and Zeke, so she decided to stay for a bit longer. Of course, there was also the fact that Ryan was her ride home that kept her, but she liked to think that it was mainly the confidence part.

Whatever it was that kept Kelsi at Troy's, she was glad that she did. While she had less time alone with Ryan, who had opened up more to the group now that it was significantly smaller, Kelsi did get a chance to do some opening up of her own. Throughout the night, Kelsi managed to hold a real conversation with everyone there. She even held a short though thoroughly interesting conversation with Chad, who Kelsi felt she had the least in common with. It consisted mainly of them talking about Chad's t-shirts, which Kelsi had always been amused by, and Kelsi's hat collection (they had determined that Chad couldn't pull off such headwear), but by the end they both had a new, if not somewhat unusual appreciation for one another.

After a couple of hours, the group decided to end the night with a movie. After a short debate, they decided on the third Pirates of the Caribbean, which had enough comedy for the humorists, action for the action lovers, and enough Johnny Depp for the girls. All in all, Kelsi thought that it had been a pretty successful night, even though Ryan had to practically drag her from his car to her house, as Kelsi wasn't up to being up so late.

As she thought about the party in hindsight, she again returned to the nagging events of the present day. She seemed to get along fine with everyone in the group, and when they were in a social setting Kelsi always managed to remain much more relaxed than in school, so why couldn't she seem to manage to become a consistent member? It was a question that remained in the back of her head as she left the reverie about the party and continued with her reading, and even one that stuck there when she fell asleep with the book hanging over her stomach.

Kelsi was awakened by the sound of her phone ringing. "Hello?" she said groggily into the phone, not caring to check the caller ID. "Hey Kels, its me," she heard the voice that registered as Ryan's say. "Oh, hi…what's going on?" Kelsi asked while trying to hold back a yawn. "I didn't wake you did I?" Ryan asked. "What? Oh, no. I was just watching some TV," she lied, not wanting him to know that she had fallen asleep on a Friday night before it was even fully dark out. "How was that movie thing?" she asked nonchalantly. "Eh, it was okay. I think it's still going on. I have to get up early tomorrow so I left in the middle of the first movie."

"You should have come," Ryan told her after a pause. "I wasn't really invited."

"What? Of course you were. I think you would have had a good time. We watched Finding Neverland," he said in a slightly teasing voice, remembering her feelings about Johnny Depp. "Oh…well, I've had a few things to do, you know how it is," Kelsi lied again, fortunate that Ryan couldn't see her blushing cheeks. "Yeah…well, anyway I was calling to see if you wanted to hang out sometime tomorrow."

"Really?" Kelsi asked. "Um, yeah. Is tomorrow not good for you?"

"No, tomorrow works great…fine. Um, yeah…I'm free tomorrow," Kelsi sputtered. "Okay, I'll be busy in the morning, but how about 4ish? We can make plans from there."

"Okay, I'll talk to you then."

"Alright, well, I guess I should get going, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Great, bye."

"Bye Kels"

As saddened as she had been by the small disappointment of the day, Kelsi was delighted by Ryan's small gesture. She even went downstairs to work on the piano. Only this time, her music was not the deep and concentrated effort that it had been this afternoon. Rather, it was free and lighthearted. She played only what she felt like playing, nothing else. At one point, during a short break in the music, she heard her Dad's voice. "Someone's having a good day," he noted. She around and nodded, "Yeah, it's been alright I guess," she said, trying to restrain the smile on her face, and went back to playing.

She was interrupted after another short stretch of music (it was often hard for her to tell how long she had been playing for) by her phone ringing again. "Hello," she picked up, always irritated by interruptions, though this time she was able to hide it. "Hi, um, is this Kelsi?" she heard a fairly familiar voice say, though she couldn't figure out who it belonged to. "Yes," she said with some nervousness, though it went away when she heard the voice say "oh hi, this is Jason."

"Hi Jason. Sorry, I didn't recognize you over the phone."

"Its fine, I wasn't really sure it was you either," Jason said with a nervous laugh. "So, um…what's up?" Kelsi asked, knowing that even though she got along with Jason, they weren't that close. "Well, you're in my European History class right?"

"Yes Jason, I sit right in front of you," she said patiently, though she thought it was an odd question as he had been talking to her in class just that day. "Right…well, I know that you're pretty good at it, right?"

"Um, I guess I'm doing pretty well." Kelsi knew that she was being at least somewhat modest, as history was one of the few things that compared to music in holding her interest. It was the only subject in which she was just as good, if not better than either Taylor or Gabriella. "Cool…well, I'm not doing too great in there….and, I was wondering if maybe you could…help me out a bit?"

"You mean like, tutor you?"

"Um, yeah, I guess so…yeah," Jason said, though it was obvious that he didn't want to use that word. "Yeah, that'd be fine. When are you free?"

"Umm, sometime tomorrow would work for me."

"Alright, I'm busy that night, but sometime in the afternoon would work."

"Yeah, cool. How about my house at noon?"

"Do you mind coming over here? I can't drive, and…you know,. It would probably just be easier."

"Yeah, definitely. Well, I guess I'll see you then."

"Bye Jason."

"See ya." As she hung up, Kelsi noted that she would have to tell Jason that she couldn't stay too long because of her plans with Ryan, then happily noted that just a few hours ago she had joked to herself about having nothing to do tomorrow. Surprisingly pleased, Kelsi played another short riff and headed to bed.

**Again, I won't beg for reviews or not post chapters without them, but I do appreciate your thoughts, questions, suggestions, etc. **


	3. The History Lesson

**This took longer than I had hoped to put up, sorry about that. Also, thanks to those who've reviewed. I appreciate all feedback you can give.**

Kelsi woke up surprisingly early the next morning. She never liked to sleep in, even on weekends, so she was used to being awake before most people (often to the chagrin of her dad, who was quite the opposite), but she surprised even herself when she saw that it was still dark out. She tried going back to sleep, but as usual she was unable to sleep after having woken up. So after about a half hour of futilely lying in bed she decided to at least turn on her light and read. Putting a CD in her walkman (she never had gotten around to switching over to an iPod, and technology had never been her strong suit), she clicked the light switch and grabbed the book that she had been reading.

After fifty pages and one and a half CDs worth of time, she heard footsteps stirring outside of her room, so figured that it was safe to get out of bed without waking her dad. She opened her door to find him in the kitchen making eggs. Kelsi tried to move slowly and intentionally yawned a few times to hide that she had been up for almost two hours. She knew that her dad would feel guilty that she had stayed in her room on his account, and though she could tell that he knew she had been up for quite some time, she thought that he would appreciate the effort, and heartily agreed to his offer to make breakfast.

One of Kelsi's favorite parts of her relationship with her father was their ability to relate to each other with a minimal use of words. It wasn't exactly that they had a best friend relationship. He was a firm father, and that was, but rather that they were very similar in their communication styles. There was no doubt that Kelsi had received her quiet mannerisms and soft spoken style from her father. This wasn't all that they had in common. While he didn't play an instrument, Mr. Nielson was just as avid of a music lover as his daughter, which worked well for Kelsi, as many other parents would be irritated by her common long and often furious bouts on the piano. Her father, however, could get lost in the music just as easily as his daughter did, and nothing helped him get over a strenuous day at work like listening to his daughter doing what she loved.

Because their personalities and interests often overlapped, and their personalities both involved a silent charm, they often found each other a perfect companion. And because Kelsi had never really had a mother, he had been forced to take on whatever maternal duties a man could handle, which brought them even closer.

Noon came considerably faster than Kelsi had predicted, and before she knew it, Jason had showed up outside her house in his beat up old car. Kelsi grabbed her books and went to meet him at the door.

"Hi," she said as she opened the door. "Hey...thanks again for your help. I really appreciate it," Jason said when she led him to her living room. "Oh, it's no problem really. You're my friend. And besides, I actually really like history. So what exactly were you having problems with?"

"Um, I'd say just about everything. What are we studying now? That time with all the art?"

"Well, most people call it the Renaissance, but that works too," she said with a small laugh. "Right…There are just so many people to remember. Then they all did stuff that you have to remember. Why can't it be like math, or physics? In those you just have to know a process, and you can find anything. This is just memorization," Jason said with obvious frustration. "Well if it helps I'm doing awful in both of those subjects, so you've got that on me."

"Really? But it's so easy. You just need to use logic."

"Well, maybe you could help me out with them sometime."

"We could do that now," Jason said, obviously not thrilled about getting into a subject that he was terrible at. "How about another day," Kelsi said, smiling, "For now, history."

While Jason seemed frustrated at first, Kelsi was actually able to help significantly. After a couple of hours the work seemed to be much less strenuous and even Jason didn't have the torturous look that had recently been on his face. Slowly, as they became more comfortable with each other, their time became occupied less on history and more on the present. Kelsi had been talking about how she remembered the different Italian city-states when all of a sudden he asked "Why weren't you at Chad's last night?" Not really feeling like getting into the topic again, Kelsi merely said, "I wasn't really feeling well. I didn't want to get everyone sick." Jason believed her, and they went back to the lesson, but something about his comment raised Kelsi's interest, and she just couldn't focus on the book. "Did you have a good time?" Jason was surprised that it was Kelsi who caused the interruption, and paused for a second before answering. "Yeah, I guess so…sometimes doing the same thing with the same people every week can get old though."

"I just wish I could do something two weekends in a row," Kelsi said. "Why don't you? I mean, everyone seems to get along with you pretty well. And if Sharpay can hang out with us I don't know why you can't." Kelsi smiled at his support, but wasn't sure how to answer. "Yeah, I guess so…it's just, I don't know. I guess I've never really adjusted to having a group of friends. I've always sort of been stuck on the edge, and I can't tell when people want me to come in."

"Yeah, I sort of know what you mean," Jason said. "Really? You always seemed to fit in perfectly."

"Trust me Kelsi, everyone feels like they've been left out at times. Before I joined the basketball team I felt like that all the time. And even after I joined I didn't really feel wanted. It just takes time." Kelsi was surprised by Jason's words. While she had realized some time ago that Jason wasn't as out there as most people thought, she had never heard him speak more clearly or openly about anything.

Soon, the conversation turned completely from history or even school, and went to more enjoyable topics. They talked about music, friends, future plans, and just about everything in between. Time was going so quickly that Kelsi didn't even realize how long they had been speaking until she looked over at the microwave clock and saw that it read 3:45. Knowing that she was to be meeting Ryan soon, Kelsi tried to hurriedly end their conversation. "Um, I actually have to get going somewhere soon," she told Jason, accidentally interrupting him. "Oh," he said, "Okay…yeah, I actually should get going. Lots of things to do…" But his expression and tone didn't match his words, and he seemed confused, even offended. After saying a quick goodbye, Jason left. Kelsi felt bad that she had been rude to Jason, whose company she really had been enjoying. However, there was little time to mull on these feelings, as Kelsi noticed Ryan's car pulling into her driveway and saw his blonde hair emerge.

Seeing her in the window, Ryan gave a cheerful smile and headed to her door. "Hey Kels, what's going on?"

"Oh, not too much." Kelsi felt bad for admitting it, but seeing Ryan erased all feelings of guilt she may have had for any rudeness towards Jason. Ryan just had a way about him that allowed Kelsi to get lost. For what seemed like hours, though Kelsi knew it couldn't be more than a couple of minutes, they just stood there looking into each other's eyes. At times she thought about trying to say something, but something in her mind always assured her that words were the last thing that they needed. For the first time, Kelsi was able to fully admit to herself that she was completely head-over-heels for Ryan. It wasn't love, not yet at least, but it was a feeling that she had never admitted she could feel, and her only question was why she had never opened herself to it before.

**I know this wasn't the most eventful chapter. I wasn't really sure where I was going until the next chapter, so that's where the plot starts to pick up some more (though I'm still not completely set on how it's going to turn out so I appreciate any ideas you have). **

**Any reviews are appreciated. I'm pretty sure I have it set up so you don't have to login to review, so if you don't have an account or don't feel like logging in you can still review.**

**Thanks again for reading.**


	4. Trouble at the Coffee Shop

**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far. Its great to hear people's thoughts. **

**Misshurrrrtbreak-Thanks for the reviews. Interesting idea, and I actually wrote something similar to that idea in this chapter (before seeing your comment), so you're at least half right (though I don't like to have things too one sided so if I do follow through on that idea it won't be strictly Ryan's fault).**

**Barb the bookworm-Thanks, being accurate to Kelsi is one of the biggest things I'm going for so your comment means a lot. And yes, it is a bit sad, but I'm trying not to make it too angsty (so don't expect any deaths or anything too overboards). Also, about the m rating, I originally wasn't sure how strict the rating system was or what sort of content there was going to be, so I figured I'd make it m to give myself more options. **

**That leads me to a question that I have, assuming that no worse content goes into it (I'd say the worst it gets is some mild drug content) do you think I should lower this to T? I'm still not totally sure how strict the ratings are so I'd appreciate your thoughts. **

**Sorry for rambling on so much, here's the story. Oh yeah, and I don't own HSM.**

"Kelsi? You okay?" she heard Ryan's voice saying, taking her from her reverie. "Oh, yeah…sorry, yeah. I'm fine, just thinking about something," she said, her cheeks turning red. "What were you thinking about?"

"Oh, nothing important. Just something I was reading about the other day, Kelsi lied. "Oh, okay. So, what do you want to do?" Ryan asked. After a short pause, Kelsi responded, "Um, anything really. Whatever you want to do."

"Well, there's that coffee place that just opened up a few weeks ago. Sharpay says they're pretty good. Want to check it out?"

"Yeah, cool. Let's do that." Kelsi had no clue what coffee place Ryan had been talking about, and didn't even really like coffee. But at the moment, he could have said just about anything and she'd be fine with it.

After a short drive, they got out of the car and went into the café. It wasn't exactly the place that Kelsi would normally go to, seeming to have a bit too much of a "hip" vibe to it. But she still liked it, especially because it seemed to match Ryan perfectly. "So, do you want to order?" Ryan asked. "Yeah," Kelsi said walking up to the counter. She didn't like the taste of coffee, and most cappuccino drinks made her feel sick, so she just got a tea, while Ryan ordered a black coffee. This was somewhat surprising to Kelsi, as she had thought he'd go for something more classy and posh. But at the same time she liked the idea of him drinking something more basic. Just as she started to scream at herself to stop overanalyzing everything from his beverage choice to his driving style, as she had done on the drive over (and came to the conclusion that his cautious driving showed that he was dependable and trustworthy), she saw that their drinks were ready. She went up to pay for hers, but noticed that Ryan had motioned to pay for her. Despite the feelings that she had for Ryan, Kelsi was still a very independent person, and always tried to assert that. "Don't worry, I can pay for myself," she said. "Its no problem, I've got it."

"No, really. It's fine," Kelsi said, trying to achieve a note of strength. Whether she achieved this or if Ryan realized how serious she was on his own, he relented and she paid for the tea as Ryan paid for his drink and they found an empty table. Just as at the end of summer party, they managed to find a place that was in a quiet corner, set apart from the rest of the room. "So what have you been doing today?" Kelsi asked. "Not too much. Sharpay wanted to go shopping….I was bored. You know how it goes." Kelsi smiled and said "I'm sure that was fun for you."

"Well I did get to give her my opinion on about 30 different necklaces, so that was alright. But I'd say my favorite part was when she let me carry all of her bags. I wasn't suer I'd get to do that, so when she said I could I was really excited," Ryan said sarcastically, and they shared a laugh. The fact that Sharpay had taken advantage of them so much over the years was one of the first links that made them friends. "What about you? An eventful day for as well?"

"Actually it was," Kelsi said, and briefly described her time with Jason. Ryan looked thoughtful when she had finished. "Hmm," he said in a low, nearly inaudible, tone. "What is it?"

"Nothing, I just never really picture you guys as great friends. I mean, it's cool that you get along and all, don't get me wrong. He just doesn't seem like the type of person you would click with."

"Hmm, and just what type of person do you think I would 'click' with?" Kelsi asked, desperately hoping for a particular answer. Ryan gave her question some mock thought and stroked his chin as he answered. "Hmm, who are you clickable with? That's a good question. What is your opinion on it?" Kelsi was prepared to say something that would sound ridiculously cute and portray her feelings perfectly. But something inside her froze at that very moment, and it came out as nothing more than a mumble, which she hid by taking a deep sip of tea, not stopping until she realized that she was burning her mouth. "Kels? Are you okay?" Ryan asked, noticing that her face was becoming slightly distorted from the burn. "Yeah," she tried to laugh it off after a couple of seconds. "Sorry, just…took too big of a sip," she said, her embarrassment evident on her face.

Fortunately Ryan seemed to understand that something more than a burnt mouth was wrong with Kelsi, and decided not to press the topic. Instead, he turned it to music, a topic that they could both relate to easily. "So are you going to do the music for this year's musical again? You did really great last year."

"Thanks, but I'm not sure if I will. It was a lot of work last year, and I don't know if I can stay on top of my work and do it at the same time."

"Hmm, that's too bad. You should really think about doing it though. I think this year's musical will be even better than all the others. And if you're there it will just be that much better."

"Why do you think this year's will be better?"

"Well don't tell anyone, since no one's supposed to know yet, but I talked Mrs. Darbus into letting me assistant direct. And I've got a lot of ideas to make it the best musical we've ever put on."

"Wow, that's great. It's going to be weird not seeing you on the stage this year."

"Yeah, it will be an adjustment. But I think I realized that I always liked creating my own works more than showing off what other people make. It's weird in a way. I do love performing, but I sort of realized that the only reason I did it so much was because my sister expected me to. But to be honest I always liked figuring out what dance moves to do or what notes to sing a lot more than actually doing the dancing or singing."

"That's really cool," Kelsi said with a smile, "But why don't you write the music for the play. I think you'd be great at it."

"Trust me, I'm no composer. I actually did try to write a few songs over the summer, though."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean, nothing big. Most were idea that just popped into my head and I wrote them down. Some were things I thought we might be able to use for the musical, but I never got the chance to work them out fully."

"Well, if you want I could look at them for you. I don't know if I could help you too much, but I'd love to see what you came up with," Kelsi said. Ryan, who had been speaking in a serious tone, suddenly perked up and a smile quickly came to his face. "Really? That would be awesome. I really like a lot of stuff that you do and I know you could be a big help. And again, I really think you should work on the musical too. You've got a lot of talent, and I know that you'll help us a lot." Kelsi gave it some thought, and then responded. "Well, I really did like watching my songs put on stage. Maybe I could work something out." Ryan's smile got even bigger than it had been. "Great. I know you'll be a big success. Maybe, if you think I'm good enough we could even work on it together." Kelsi smiled and said "I'm sure you'll be good enough, and it would be really fun to work with you on it."

"Yeah…I'm really glad that you agreed to this. To be honest that's sort of why I asked you to come out here." All of a sudden, Kelsi froze. The warm attitude that she'd managed to show Ryan was beginning to freeze again. She had thought that he was the only person who saw her as something more than the quiet girl who played piano; that he had actually wanted to spend time with her just to be with her, not because he wanted anything. But all of a sudden that perception was dying quickly. She tried to look beyond what Ryan had said, or to see think that he didn't mean his comment in the way that she had interpreted it. But a part of her wouldn't let that happen. Years of never feeling adequate or appreciated were building up in that moment, and all of the insecurities and anger that she had towards the world were being channeled at Ryan.

Ryan could tell that he had made a mistake as soon as he spoke. He could read Kelsi's hurt look in a second, and he immediately kicked himself for not seeing his tactlessness. He knew that Kelsi was insecure about these types of things, and he had just made it worse. He knew that he would have to act fast. "Kelsi, I didn't mean it like that. I just…"

"Yeah…I know," Kelsi said, but there was no conviction in her voice. She sounded empty. "Actually, I think that I should get going. I promised my dad that I'd be home by now. We have….a thing." Ryan was visibly disappointed, but he tried to hide this. "Okay, let's go…I'll give you a ride."

"Um, actually don't worry about it. I'll just…call my dad for a ride." Reluctantly, Ryan let Kelsi leave without protest.

Kelsi hardly said a word through the whole ride back to her house. Noticing the look on her face, her dad asked whether she was alright, but Kelsi's response was hardly audible, and Kelsi was thankful that he didn't press the topic. When she got home she went straight to her room. Normally when she was upset, the piano would be her destination. But music only made her think of Ryan. Her usual escape had been turned into an embodiment of her anguish. At that moment she hated herself for so many reasons, for taking the risk of opening herself, only to be sorely disappointed. For letting herself get so hung up on a boy, particularly one whom she only realized her feelings for that day, for overreacting and not having the courage to admit her mistake. Kelsi realized that she took Ryan's comment the wrong way just a split second after she heard it. But that short amount of time was enough for her to close herself again, and she wasn't brave enough to admit her mistake or to open up again. She went over the events of the night in her head for what felt like hours, though she wasn't sure just how long it truly had been. All she knew was that her feelings of misery led her to sleep, without her caring enough to get changed, or even to take off her hat.

Ryan stayed at the coffee shop for a little after Kelsi left, mainly because he didn't feel like being alone. But after a few minutes he realized that he would feel just as bad alone, so he drove home. When he opened the front door he was almost immediately confronted by Sharpay. "How's Kelsi?" she asked with a smile on his face. Ryan wasn't sure how to respond to the question or to his sister's perkiness when he was feeling so awful, so he remained quiet. Sharpay's look changed instantly and her concern was visible. "Did something happen?"

"No, or…I don't know. I don't really want to talk about it right now," Ryan told her, and went to his room and lied down on his bed. Despite his dejected attitude he genuinely was grateful that Sharpay was showing her sensitive side, rather than the show she usually put on. But that wasn't nearly enough to take Ryan out of his sadness and his confusion. He had no clue how he was supposed to feel. He tried to think of anything that he could have done differently, and replayed various scenes from the night in his head, then tried to think of how he could have changed various things he said or did. He shouldn't have tried to pay for her, he should have been more open with Kelsi, he shouldn't have been so tactless. He spent what felt like hours going over the night in his head, though he wasn't sure how long it had really been. All he knew was that his feelings of misery led him to sleep, without him caring enough to get changed, or even to take off his hat.

**Well so much for not getting too melodramatic. But it will get better (even though it gets worse in the next chapter). I think everyone knows my beliefs about rerviews right now, but I'll sum it up anyway: I won't beg, but they're cool. **


	5. The Day After

**SmartAlienQT-Thanks for the tip on the quotations. When I finish the story I'm planning on going back and fixing those little things, that one and a few others that were similar to that are on the list. Thank you again, those are the things that keep me up at night.**

**Barbthebookworm-changed to T, thanks for the advice.**

**This chapter ended up quite a bit longer than I had originally intended, but I think it turned out alright. I don't own High School Musical.**

When Kelsi woke up the next morning, she wasn't feeling much better. Her first thought was that perhaps it had been a dream, though when she noticed that she was still in her clothes this far-fetched hope was dashed. Her only real solace was that she felt like playing the piano again, so at least she was on track to normalcy. Of course, she soon realized that it would be far too early to do that, and resigned herself to her bed. But after a few minutes she found that she was no longer depressed enough to simply lie down and mope. She tried to do some homework simply to get her mind off of Ryan but she found that she was indeed depressed enough to prevent herself from being able to concentrate for more than a few minutes. After a few minutes she came to the conclusion that she had been in the same clothes for about 24 hours straight, which was enough to temporarily drive the previous night from her head.

After a long shower, Kelsi was at least feeling cleaner and slightly more relaxed, though she didn't seem to be much better off emotionally. Noticing that her dad had woken up in the time that it had taken her to take a shower, she went over to the piano and, putting her index finger down on an ivory key, began to play.

Ryan woke up the next morning with what felt like a weight stuck in his stomach. He had slept very poorly the previous night, and was still tired, despite it being fairly late in the morning. He had almost no energy, certainly not enough to keep him from leaving his bed. Of course, he had no desire to do this anyway. He couldn't see anything positive waiting for him in the outside world, so he allowed himself another hour or so of being horizontal. While he wasn't able to get to sleep again in this time, it did give him time to think about the events of the previous night with a somewhat clearer mind. He was still highly upset by it, but by this point he was feeling good enough to be able to at least realize just what had happened. Before, it seemed like everything was a blur, going from spectacular to terrible so quickly that he could hardly figure out just what it was that caused the turn of events. Of course, just by remembering this he didn't automatically feel better. In fact, if anything, it made him feel worse. Before he could at least (in some hopeful, defiant part of his mind) hope that Kelsi legitimately had had to go somewhere in a hurry. But now that he could remember what exactly was said, he knew that this was impossible, and that made him feel worse.

Unable to get his mind off of Kelsi, Ryan decided to take a shower. Just because he had to be miserable that was no reason to be a slob as well. He had always taken long showers, and today was no exception. It gave him an excuse to be alone, and the sound of the water hitting the bathtub was welcome to his ears gave his mind a constant distraction. When it had been silent, he always seemed to drift back to Kelsi. But at least now he could lose himself in the constant drone.

As usual, the music did help Kelsi. Though she was far from feeling fine, it was an extremely therapeutic process for her. While she wasn't able to get the previous night out of her head, the very process of playing the music helped her. She was deep in the process of writing a song, which required her complete attention, meaning that she couldn't give any to Ryan, which was all that she wanted. Oddly enough, the song was one that she had been working on had been one that she had previously thought would have been perfect for the musical. But the meaning of the music itself had always meant more to Kelsi than why it was being written, so she was able to put this fact in the back of her mind. The song was one that seemed to fit her mood at the time almost perfectly. It was in a minor key, and had a mournful, vaguely dark tone. However, there was a sort of inner beauty in it. If one were to just listen casually, they would hear an irregular rhythm and notes that didn't seem to fit together. But through careful listening, a sort of hidden melody could be found. It was still a mournful one, but it was also fragile and beautiful at the same time.

When Kelsi had finished, she still didn't feel satisfied with it (though she never was happy with anything she wrote). She had not written lyrics, and wasn't sure if she would. She had been planning to before last night. But now there was virtually no chance that it would be in the musical now, and she almost felt as if words would take something away from it. In addition to this, she had never been a great lyricist. Words just didn't come as easily to her as music did, and she never was able to match the abstract feel of music with words, which seemed so exact in comparison to a string of notes. So because of this, she decided to put away the music and turn to a more improvisational type of music. Even though this required less of her attention, so her thoughts did slip to Ryan occasionally, she felt that this was what she needed. It was the only way for her to truly let out her emotions. When she was writing music, even if it was for herself, she had to put down what sounded best. There was a sort of formula to it. But now, she could ignore everything, break any rule that she had been taught by her piano teachers, and just let out her emotions.

She was abruptly interrupted by a tap on her shoulder, which she discovered to be her father, holding the phone. She felt apprehensive, immediately thinking that Ryan would be on the other end. Kelsi wasn't sure if she hoped or dreaded that it would be him. Her dad handed her the phone, and she spoke into it, "Hello?" she said nervously. "Um, hi Kelsi, it's me…Jason."

"Oh, hi Jason." Kelsi said, both disappointed and relieved. "Hi, what's up?"

"Well, I had a question about something we were going over yesterday. I still don't know if I get it."

"Okay, what is it?"

"The guy who did the domes…who was that guy again?"

"Brunelleschi. He was one of the most famous architects of the time. His works include the Dome of the Cathedral of Florence and Santa Maria del Fiore," Kelsi answered automatically. "Right, Brunelleschi. I knew it was something Italian sounding."

"Well it was the Italian Renaissance," Kelsi said, smiling for the first time that day. "Yeah, right. Well, thanks for your help. I guess should get going though," Jason said. "Okay, bye."

"Bye."

Kelsi was glad that Jason had called, as it felt good to have some contact with the outside world, though she did find it somewhat odd that he had called for that purpose, as she knew there was an entire section on Brunelleschi in their textbook. Not giving this thought any more attention, Kelsi began to turn back to the piano when she was stopped by her dad, who had walked back into the room. "Are you alright Kels?" he asked.

Ryan turned to a new page in his notebook and looked at the handwritten musical staff. It was his latest attempt at writing a song for the musical, and it wasn't going well. He had been working on the song for over an hour now, and the past 20 minutes had been spent merely looking at the paper. The song hadn't been going great even before last night. In fact, he had been hoping that Kelsi would be able to help him with it. But that didn't seem very likely now. He seemed incapable of keeping his thoughts on the piece of paper in front of him. There were too many thoughts going through his head, and he felt too many emotions at one time. Curiously, the expected sadness and confusion were now joined by anger. He had come to the conclusion that whatever happened last night was not his fault, and that she had overreacted. Ryan wasn't sure if he fully believed this, but it made him feel better that he could take away some of the blame for how awful he felt. Turning back to the music, Ryan wrote down a couple of measures that had popped into his head. He didn't think the song was very good, and he knew that it would probably be rewritten at some point, but he didn't care enough to do it then. Turning around to put away the song, he saw his sister standing in his doorway. "Hey Ry, want to go shopping?"

Kelsi wasn't really sure how to respond to her dad. One of the downsides about having the sort of relationship where words weren't thrown around lightly was that when speaking was necessary, Kelsi wasn't sure which words to use. So she didn't say anything for a few seconds, though she almost felt like she was on the verge of tears. She didn't know why she was about to cry now, as she hadn't cried at all through the past night or morning, and she was even beginning to feel slightly better, and someone was openly showing their concern for her. These things should make her feel better, so why did she feel the need to cry now?

"Kelsi?" her dad asked again. She looked up, "yes?"

"Are you alright?" her dad repeated his question. Knowing that she would have to respond now, she tried to make out the word "yes," but the words came out as more of a mumble, as if her mind wouldn't let her mouth tell the lie. "That doesn't sound alright to me," her dad said with a half smile on his face. "Probably because I'm not," Kelsi said, giving up hope that she could get out of the conversation. "Do you want to talk about it?" her dad asked, making it obvious that he was just as uncomfortable with emotional connections as his daughter was. Kelsi was silent for a second, then spoke softly "I feel like I messed up everything," she said, barely able to contain her tears, though she didn't want her dad to see her crying, so she held back the tears for a little longer. "What do you mean?"

Kelsi explained the situation to her dad, and told him what had happened last night. It was weird for her, as she never really told her dad about her feelings or insecurities. It had always been one of their unspoken agreements, though it seemed that that rule was at least temporarily shattered. She didn't just talk about last night either. Before she knew what was happening, Kelsi was telling her dad all of the fears that she had and all of her concerns about just about everything. She left out only the most personal aspects of her life. For most of this time Kelsi's dad was silent, only offering an occasional comment. When Kelsi had finished, her dad looked dumbstruck. "Well…I know it's no secret, but I'm not really good at this type of thing. I wish I could just, make this all better, or give you advice on what to do, but to be honest I went through a lot of these same things when I was your age, and I still go through some of it." Kelsi's dad was looking apologetic, but he couldn't have said anything more helpful for Kelsi. "You went through this too?"

"Well, yeah…I think everyone does at some point. I mean, minus the girl stuff." Kelsi gave a slight laugh and looked at her dad, smiling. "Thanks dad."

"Did I help?" Kelsi gave a small nod. "Cool… Well, I have to go to work for a couple of hours. Are you going to be okay?" Kelsi nodded again, and she truly believed that she would be. As her dad walked away, she welcomed a tear that began to slide down her face.

"Ryan? Are you there?" Sharpay asked her brother impatiently. "Not now Shar. I'm not really in the mood," Ryan said. "Come on! I forgot to pick up a few things that I really need."

"No!" Ryan said, with more anger than he had intended. He looked up at his sister's slightly hurt face. "I'm sorry Shar. I'm just not having a good day."

"Do you want to talk about it?"Sharpay asked. She knew that she didn't always treat her brother too well, but she really did love him, and she knew that he was the best friend she would probably ever have, so when he was hurt, she genuinely did care. Ryan started to explain what had happened, beginning from when he asked her to go to the coffee shop with him and going until Kelsi's abrupt departure. He tried to make it seem like he was the victim, but even he didn't believe that this was perfectly true. When he finished, Sharpay shook her head and gave her understanding though condescending smile. "Ryan, Ryan, Ryan," she said. "Did I screw up?"

"I'm afraid so."

"But it's not my fault…she overreacted. And she knew what I meant."

"I thought you and Kelsi were supposed to be close. I thought you understood her." Sharpay said. "Well she took my words out of context."

"Of course she did. Can you blame her? I mean, people are always using her without really including her. You were supposed to be the only one who got that, and you made her think that you were just as bad as everyone else."

"By 'everyone else' you mean…you?"

"Okay, so I have taken advantage of Kelsi in the past. But at least I'm honest about it."

"So what you're saying is, this entire thing is my fault?" Ryan asked, not looking forward to the answer. "Well, not exactly. I mean, you did have good intentions. It's just that, you're a guy. And while you're one of the sweetest guys I know…the very fact that you are a boy makes you kind of stupid with this sort of thing. It's not your fault; it's just in your DNA."

"Are you supposed to be helping?" Ryan asked, though he was smiling slightly, glad that he and his sister maintained their unusual, though close relationship. "You know what…wait here for a bit. I've got to go out for something, but when I get back there's something I need to show you."

"Okay," Ryan said, shrugging. And with that, Sharpay exited his room, leaving behind a thoroughly confused Ryan.

**Not exactly the most cheerful chapter, but it gets happier in the next chapter, I promise. **

**The amount that I've written has gotten pretty far ahead of what I've posted, so I might put up another chapter today. **

**Questions, comments, constructive criticism, whatever...let me know what you thought.**


	6. Sibling Interference

Kelsi sat at her desk looking at the piece she had finished, and making some final revisions. It had been a long day, though Kelsi hadn't done too much. She was still upset about Ryan, but could at least concentrate on other things. Just as she was preparing to go to bed she heard the doorbell ring. Not wanting to answer it as she was in pajamas, Kelsi hoped that it wouldn't be anyone important and decided to ignore it. Unfortunately, the caller wouldn't let this happen, and there was a flurry of rings within the next few seconds. Realizing that she wouldn't be left alone, Kelsi reluctantly went to answer the door. In the back of her mind she was hoping that it was Ryan on the other side, but she knew that this wasn't at all likely. Actually, she was closer that she thought. When she opened the door, Kelsi saw not Ryan, but another Evans.

"Sharpay?" she said, even more to see Sharpay than she would have been to see her brother. "We need to talk," Sharpay said, entering the house. Kelsi didn't try too hard to hide her lack of excitement at this thought, especially as Sharpay didn't look very happy at the moment. "Can I change first?" she asked, both trying to procrastinate hearing whatever it was that Sharpay had to say and suddenly self-conscious about her sleeping apparel. Sharpay sighed and agreed in a tone that suggested that Kelsi's request was ridiculous.

Kelsi got changed in record time, driven by her fear of Sharpay and (though she wouldn't admit it) curiosity at what Sharpay had to say. When she got out less than a minute later, Sharpay looked impatient. "So, what is it?" Kelsi asked, trying to mask her discomfort. "It's about Ryan."

"I figured," Kelsi said with a sense of inevitability. "You need to forgive him for whatever it was that he did to you."

"Well…"

"What?"

"I mean, it isn't that simple. I wish it was. I wish I could just forget about everything that happened last night."

"Why can't you? I mean, Ryan feels terrible about it. He locked himself in his room for the whole day…He didn't even want to go shopping!" Kelsi laughed at Sharpay's self centered nature, despite the fact that there was really nothing funny about the situation. But the laugh seemed to give Kelsi some measure of courage and the ability to speak relatively freely. "Look Sharpay, it really doesn't have anything to do with Ryan. Well, not directly at least. I don't even blame him about it. I don't think I ever did. But…I was so stupid. I can't face him now." Sharpay exhaled deeply with frustration. "Look Kelsi, you haven't seen him. I don't know what exactly you did to him, but it was bad. So please, just try to talk to him."

"Look, I appreciate your help, but-"

"Don't you think for a moment that I'm here because of you," Sharpay interjected with more passion than Kelsi had ever seen come from her. "I'm here because Ryan's my brother and my best friend. And I've never seen him looking so awful. You're the cause of it so either you fix him or I break you just as bad."

"Do you honestly think that I'm feeling happy about this whole thing?" Kelsi said, with significantly less energy than Sharpay had mustered, but still quite a bit considering her normally reserved nature. "Ryan may have been in his room all day but I guarantee you that I've been just as bad, if not worse. I mean, you don't know how I feel about him…and I totally ruined any chance of...us." Oddly enough, Sharpay laughed. "Oh my God, are you really as clueless as he is? I knew he had his head in the sand, but I thought that you were at least a little bit better…Guess not," Sharpay said, shaking her head but wearing a smile on her face. "What are you talking about?" Kelsi asked, believing that she knew what Sharpay was talking about, but afraid to make any assumptions without hearing it from someone else's lips first. "He's crazy about you Kelsi. I mean, literally head over heels insane about you. It's a little pathetic to be honest, I mean…" Sharpay continued to talk, but Kelsi was no longer listening. Nothing else that she anyone could say would be able to make this moment better, so she phased out everything and simply basked in her happiness. "Kelsi? Are you listening?" an impatient Sharpay asked. "Oh, yeah…right," Kelsi said, not even trying to hide her grin. "So, you're sure that he…"

"Definitely," Sharpay answered without needing to hear the end of Kelsi's sentence. "Wow," Kelsi said, unable to muster up any other words. "So, ready to go?"

"Go where?" asked Kelsi. "Um, to my house. You're going to tell Ryan aren't you?"

All of a sudden, a seed of fear came within Kelsi. To know how Ryan felt about her was one thing, but to take action on it was something else entirely. Did you really think I came here just to tell you that? Come on Kelsi, you have to face him some time, no time like the present." Slowly, Kelsi assented. She left a hurried note for her dad, who still had not come home and agreed to go with Sharpay. "Wait a second," Kelsi said, running back to her house as they were about to get into Sharpay's car. "What is it now?"

"I need to get a hat."

Ryan was preparing to go to bed and was just about to put his pajamas on when he heard a hurried knock at his door. Sighing with frustration, he opened the door to find his sister leaning on his doorframe with a self-satisfied smile on her face. "Yes?" Ryan asked, knowing from experience that the look his sister was showing was one that meant she had done something big, and was proud of it. "I've got something for you."

Ryan waited for Sharpay to speak and then, realizing that she wouldn't, asked "What is it?" As an answer, Sharpay walked out of the doorframe, and Kelsi walked up, taking her place. "…Kelsi?"

"Hi," Kelsi said in a frightened though excited voice. They could do nothing but stand there for a while, only snapping out of the mutual trance when they heard Sharpay clear her throat loudly. "Well, I think I'm going to get going…you kids have fun," she said in a slightly teasing voice. "Hey," Ryan finally said. "Hi,"

"So…what are you doing here?"

"I don't really know…should I be here?" Kelsi asked, growing unsure despite Sharpay's repeated assurances on the way over. "Yes!" Ryan said quickly. "You should be here…forever."

"Really?" Kelsi asked, blushing in full force now. "God yes." Ryan said, as he started to edge closer and closer to Kelsi. Soon, neither could see anything but the other's face, and nothing else mattered. Soon, they held each other in a tight embrace, and their lips met. It was an odd feeling for Kelsi. She didn't know what she was doing, and was constantly worried about whether she was doing it right, but despite this, she was completely lost. Her and Ryan had fallen into another world where they were the sole members and nothing mattered but the present.

Kelsi wasn't sure how long this lasted, time didn't seem to matter, and she wasn't sure who first broke the embrace, but somehow they both seemed to come back to reality together, and all of a sudden they were just two people standing in a bedroom. Kelsi had no clue how to react, so she merely started to laugh nervously, a laughter which Ryan soon joined in.

"I'm really sorry about last night," he told her when that had passed. "Oh God, don't worry about it…"

"I was stupid," they both said at the same time to another round of nervous laughter. Kelsi noticed the sheet music that Ryan had been working on, lying on his desk. "Were you writing something?" she asked, not realizing that her sudden change in topic had sort of killed the mood. "Oh, yeah…it's nothing to get excited about though."

"I'm sure it's fine," Kelsi said. "Can I look at it?"

"Yeah, sure. But are you sure you want to? I mean, that's sort of what got us into that whole mess," Ryan said. Kelsi couldn't think of anything to say, as she was still embarrassed by what had happened, so as an answer she walked over to the music and picked it up. Ryan was slightly surprised that Kelsi had been so forward, but was happy to get her opinion on it (though he was secretly afraid of what she would have to say).

After a few minutes, Kelsi put the music down. "Well?" Ryan asked after Kelsi had been silent for a few seconds. "It's, alright."

"You hate it huh?"

"I didn't say that."

"You implied it," Ryan said with a half smile. "Well…it really isn't that bad."

"Thanks Kels. 'Not that bad' is what I was going for actually," Ryan said, sounding bitter, though Kelsi knew that he wasn't being serious. "Well if you want to know what I really think about it, it really isn't bad. You have a lot of really good ideas here. It just doesn't…flow."

"Want to help me with it a bit?" Ryan asked hopefully. Just as Kelsi was about to accept the invitation, her phone rang, and she noticed that it was her dad. "Hello?" she said, slightly worried when she noticed the time. "Hi Kelsi."

"Oh, hey dad…what's up?" she asked innocently. "Well, it's almost 11 on a school night, so I thought you might want to come home," her dad said, matching her tone. "Okay, I'll be home soon."

After saying goodbye to her dad and hanging up the phone, Kelsi turned toward Ryan. "I think I have to go," she said apologetically. "It's cool…you want a ride?" he asked. "Sure," Kelsi said as they headed toward Ryan's car. After a drive that Ryan seemed to draw out by taking the most roundabout route imaginable and traveling about 15 miles below the speed limit, they arrived at Kelsi's house (though it still seemed to have been too short of a ride).

"Thanks for the ride," Kelsi said as she was about to get out of the car. "No problem…hey, hang on a sec," Ryan said quickly. "Yes?"

"This might seem like a stupid question after tonight, but I don't want to leave any doubt, so...do you want to go out with me?"

"God yes," Kelsi said, responding faster than she thought she ever had to any question in her entire life. "Great," Ryan said, and as they left each other for the night, both were wearing grins that seemed determined to stay on their faces forever.

**I don't think I'm too good at writing the romantic type of thing, but let me know what you thought.**


	7. The Day After Tomorrow

**It took a bit longer to get this up than I had hoped, but I had finals this week so I've been pretty busy. To make up for it here's a chapter that's pretty much solid fluff. I figured we deserved it after 6 chapters of emoness. Hope that you like it.**

The next day couldn't seem to come fast enough for Kelsi. She found herself completely unable to sleep that night, and resigned herself to merely lying down; waiting for school the next day, just so that she would be able to see Ryan again. She counted through the hours as they passed, 12, 1, 2…Each hour going by slower than the next. Finally, Kelsi felt herself begin to be carried away by exhaustion, and fell into a restful sleep. However, this didn't last long, and she was awakened by her alarm clock after what seemed like just a few minutes. But Kelsi wasn't upset by this. In fact, she woke up with far more vigor than normal, and was completely ready to leave by 6 o'clock, a full hour and a half before she usually left her house.

Her father, who had just woken up, was surprised to see his daughter ready so early. "They must be making school more entertaining than it was in my day," he said as he drove her to school an hour later (she had managed to convince him to leave 30 minutes early). "Well, I think it might be a good day," Kelsi said. "Any particular reason?"

"There might be, could be just a feeling. Who knows?" Kelsi said with a smile. "Well, someone's mysterious today."

Seeing that they were getting close to the school, Kelsi said, "I'll explain tonight…see you dad."

"Bye," Mr. Nielsen said, though the door had shut by the time he finished. Confused, though glad that his daughter had turned around so much in less than 24 hours, he drove away.

Because it was so early, the halls of East High were relatively empty, a far cry from the usual densely crowded corridors that Kelsi normally had to fight her way through. Heading to put her books away, she was pleasantly surprised to see Ryan going through his locker, just a couple away from her own. "Hey," she said, popping up as he closed the locker. "Hi," Ryan said, just as surprised to see her as she had been to see him. "You're here early," Kelsi noted. Ryan tried to hide the fact that his face was growing red, and responded by saying "As are you," making it Kelsi's turn to blush. "I was hoping you'd be here," Ryan admitted. "Me too."

"Hmm, looks like great minds really do think alike," Ryan said, trying to keep Kelsi from feeling awkward, and it seemed to work as his comment elicited a laugh from her. "So, I brought that song you saw last night."

"Great, do you want to work on it some before school?"

"Yeah…if you do," Ryan said. So the pair went to the library and sat down at a desk. Ryan took out the music and laid it on the table. "Do you mind if I write some notes on it?" Kelsi asked. "Go ahead," Ryan told her, "Teach me your ways."

Before Kelsi could teach too many of 'her ways,' her and Ryan were surprised to see Chad sitting down at a table near them. It wasn't that they were surprised to see Chad, but rather to see him in a library. Because they were trying to have time alone, they hoped that he wouldn't notice them, but they had no such luck. "Yo Ryan, Kelsi, what's up?" he said, significantly louder than necessary. "Oh, hey Chad," Ryan said, sighing under his breath. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Not much…Kelsi's helping me with a song for the musical," Ryan told him, then (unable to stop himself) responded, "What are_ you_ doing here?"

"Monday morning rush," Chad answered to blank stares from Ryan and Kelsi. "I usually put off all of my homework from the weekend until Monday morning, and then get to school as early as I can and get it all done. It's a tradition of mine," Chad said smirking. "Wouldn't it be easier to just do it over the weekend?" Kelsi asked, still slightly confused, as procrastination was hardly even a part of her vocabulary. "You sound like Taylor," Chad said. "Well, I should get back to this. Good luck with your-"Chad stopped midsentence and stared at them oddly. "Are you guys holding hands?" he asked. To both Kelsi and Ryan's surprise, they were. Neither could figure out how, but somehow Ryan's hand had ended up on top of Kelsi's. "Um," they both said. "Are you guys like, going out?" Chad said, uncharacteristically giddy. Each waiting for the other to answer, neither said anything for some time. Finally, Kelsi began to nod slowly, and Ryan gave a feeble "Yes."

"Nice, man," Chad said. "Shouldn't you get back to…that?" Ryan suggested. "Oh, yeah, right…well I'll see you guys in homeroom," Chad said as he turned around.

By the time that homeroom came, word about Ryan and Kelsi had spread quickly, and whether through Chad or Sharpay, it seemed like the entire class knew about them. Fortunately, Kelsi was insulated from too many questions by her friends who had formed their usual circle, of which Kelsi and Ryan were uncharacteristically near the middle. Unfortunately, the reason why they were in the middle was so that their friends could bombard them with a multitude of questions. It seemed like everyone was focused solely on her and Ryan, when all they really wanted was to be left alone. It seemed like the only person who wasn't trying to figure out everything about the young relationship was Jason, who seemed oddly interested in a book, though Kelsi only noticed this through the corner of her eye, as Jason had seemed to withdraw from the circle somewhat. She had tried to talk to him and see if there was something wrong, but whenever she made a move toward him, a new question would be fired at her, though half the time it was one that she had answered several times already.

After what seemed like an exceedingly long homeroom, the bell for the next period finally rang, and Kelsi had at least a few minutes alone with Ryan, though they had to separate since they didn't have their next class together. Kelsi did, however have the class, European History, with Jason, so she did have a chance to talk to him. "Hey, I noticed you were sort of quiet in homeroom. Are you okay?" she asked Jason, who was already sitting down when she entered the room. "What? Oh, yeah…I just had a lot of stuff to do. You know, just finishing up homework and stuff," Jason told her. "Oh, okay."

"Um, thanks for helping me out with the history stuff the other day. It was a big help, and…it was a lot of fun actually. I didn't think I'd use the words history and fun in the same sentence."

"Don't worry about it…I had fun too."

"So, do you think you can help me out some more? Maybe this weekend or something?" Jason asked hopefully. "Yeah sure, I have to do a few things, but I'll be free for most of the weekend." Kelsi didn't actually have anything specific planned, but if today was any indication, her and Ryan wouldn't get too much time together in school, so if they were ever to get any privacy it would probably be outside of school. "Okay, cool…Hey Kelsi,"

"Yes?"

"…Congratulations about, Ryan. That's really cool," Jason said, his lips trying to make a smile, though it seemed like an oddly strained one. Kelsi was about to respond when the bell rang and her teacher began to speak.

Kelsi wasn't able to actually see Ryan until lunch, which they had together, though she figured that they would still be pestered with questions, so there would be little time to spend together. As she was about to leave her locker to go to the cafeteria, with both excitement at being able to see Ryan and dread at being forced to see the rest of the world, when she heard Ryan's from behind her say, "Why hello there." With a smile on her face, Kelsi turned around. "Hey, crazy day huh?"

"Yeah, I don't know if I can handle too much more of this," Ryan said. "Wow, Ryan Evans shying away from the spotlight…interesting." Kelsi said, getting a playfully sarcastic laugh from Ryan. "I really don't want to be in front of everyone in the cafeteria," Kelsi said. "Well you know, we don't have to be," Ryan said mischievously. "We have to eat."

"Yes, but who says we have to eat in the cafeteria?"

"I think it's in the school rules actually."

"Well Kelsi, some rules were meant to be broken."

"Something tells me you have a specific destination in mind," Kelsi said. "Come on," Ryan told her. Both of them grabbing the paper bags that held their lunches, Kelsi began to follow Ryan, still unsure of where they were going. After going down several hallways and up a flight of stairs Ryan came to a door that Kelsi passed often but never really took notice of. "Is this it? Kelsi asked. "Yep," Ryan told her without any anticlimax in his voice, as he took a key out of his pocket. "What is it? Some closet?" Kelsi asked, not trying to sound rude, as she truly was grateful that they would be alone, even if it would be in a dark and musty janitor's closet. As an answer to her question, Ryan opened the door, and Kelsi saw a fairly small room, though it wasn't at all cramped. There was a window in the front of the room, and the auditorium and stage could be seen from the window. Several rows of knobs, buttons, and other controls were laid out on a panel by the window. "Stage crew room," Ryan said. "How do you have a key here?"

"I broke my leg during sophomore year so I couldn't be in the musical. I wanted to be involved in some way though, so I joined stage crew and worked the lights and sounds. When the show was over they never asked for the key back, so I kept it. I come up here every once in a while, you know, play with the lights and stuff. Kelsi was very impressed with Ryan's choice of locale. She had been in the theater countless times, but to see it like this was something entirely different. It somehow seemed much more, magical. "It's great up here," she told him. "Check this out," Ryan said, looking like a kid in the candy store as he went up to the control panel. He grabbed a CD from the desk and put it in a drive on the control panel. Skipping ahead a couple of tracks until a song that Kelsi had written for the musical last year came on. As it played, Ryan turned on and off various lights, so that they appeared to dance to the music. "Very nice," Kelsi said with laughter in her voice, "but are we going to get caught?"

"No, don't worry about it. The theater's soundproof," Ryan said, and continued his little show. After he finished he gave a mock bow to Kelsi's applause. "Very nice," she told him. "That's nothing. I can do Beethoven's 5th Symphony, The Entertainer, I'm working on Joy to the World. Hopefully I'll get it down by Christmas."

"Well, good luck to you on that," Kelsi said as they began to eat. "So you'd think that no one around here has ever seen two people…" Kelsi began, though wasn't sure how to finish. "Going out?" Ryan offered. "Right," Kelsi said, "sorry, it's still a little weird to say it out loud," she told Ryan. "Yeah, I know what you mean. And people have been bugging me about it all day," Ryan said. "It makes being ignored look pretty good," Kelsi said jokingly. "Yeah, of course, there are a few good things about it." Ryan said. "Like what?"

"Well, no one has asked if I'm gay today. That's always good."

"No one thinks that you're gay," Kelsi told him reassuringly, though they both knew it wasn't true. "Well, they don't think that once they get to know you. And besides, who cares what they think. We both know it isn't true," Kelsi said, with more conviction than her last statement had held. Ryan smiled in response, and he began to move closer to her, until their bodies were nearly touching.

Overall, the ham and cheese sandwich tasted better than any other meal could have. She never knew that lunch could be so pleasant. It wasn't the conversation or their playful banter, just the feeling of connection was enough for Kelsi. The words themselves were just added bonuses.

Kelsi got home earlier than usual that day (Ryan had insisted on giving her a ride home). Despite its rough start, the day had turned out quite wonderfully, and before Kelsi started to work on her homework, she just lied on her bed for a few minutes, reflecting on the way that being with Ryan made her feel. About a half hour after managing to get herself up and work on homework, Kelsi heard the phone ringing. "Hello?" she said.

"Hi, is Kelsi there?"

"This is Kelsi," she said, unsure who she was speaking to. "Oh hi Kelsi, its Zeke."

"Oh hey Zeke, what's up?" Kelsi asked. She was happy that he had called, as they had not really had a chance to talk since the end-of-summer party, but after talking to him there, she had wanted to get to know him better. "Well, I didn't really get a chance to talk to you in school, so I just wanted to say congratulations about Ryan. I know you've liked him for a while."

"You knew about that?" Kelsi said, surprised at this, since she wasn't sure herself until very recently. "Well, I didn't exactly know. Guessed would be more like it," Zeke said. "Well, thanks. That's nice of you."

"No problem. I mean, one of us should end up with an Evans right?" Zeke said, his tone sounding like an odd sort of anguished joke. "So you're still stuck on her?" Kelsi asked. "Yeah, I guess so. She's just so…I can't get her out of my head."

"I'm sorry Zeke," Kelsi said empathetically, though still just as unsure how to comfort him as she had been at the party. "Yeah, thanks. I just, I don't know. Well, anyway…I won't depress you about my problems," Zeke said, trying to speak in a light tone, "I should actually get going," he told her. "Oh okay…Hey Zeke?" Kelsi said, remembering something that she had been curious about. "Yeah?"

"You're pretty good friends with Jason right?"

"Yeah, he's my best friend, why?" Zeke asked. "Was there something wrong today? He seemed kind of out of it. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay with him." Zeke thought for a few seconds before answering, "No, I don't think that there was anything wrong...I'm…I could be wrong though," Zeke told her. "Okay, thanks Zeke, see you tomorrow."

"Later."

After hanging up the phone, Kelsi went back to her homework and began to read the assignment.

**Just in case anyone was offended by the Ryan 'gay' comments, I just want to say that I have no problem whatsoever with homosexuality. I don't think anyone would be offended by anything in here, but jsut wanted to be clear. Well, let me know what you thought. Also, I'm far too lazy to scroll up to type this, but I don't own High School Musical.**


	8. A Confession, Part 1

**Well last chapter was my semi-happy one, now its time to get back to the melancholy teenage melodrama, yay! There's a bit of Jelsi in this chapter, or at least the possibility of it. I don't own High School Musical.**

The next month was a pretty good one for Kelsi. After a couple of days everyone got used to her relationship with Ryan and she wasn't forced to face too much more pestering over it. In addition to this, her relationships with pretty much all of her friends had gotten significantly stronger, particularly with Zeke and Jason. While she had previously enjoyed both of their company, they had never really connected too much outside of school. Now however, it was not uncommon for her to talk to either of them after school hours. Zeke made Kelsi his assistant in the kitchen, which Kelsi had no problem with, as this also made her his taste-tester. Her and Jason had even organized a weekly study session where she would help him with history and he would help with her math. Kelsi was always surprised at how much fun she could have doing schoolwork, but Jason made things like that seem much more enjoyable than they were when done alone. She actually started to look forward to their weekly study group.

Of course, the time spent with Zeke and Jason was nothing compared to how often she saw Ryan. He would give her a ride to and from school just about every day, and usually hung around her house for a bit to do homework and to pretend to do homework. As rehearsals for the new musical began, they spent even more time together, as Kelsi became a sort of unofficial assistant assistant director, and together, they helped to write just about all of the music that was to be used, which meant a lot of long hours spent working alone with no one else around, which undoubtedly added to the appeal of writing music. She had been trying not to become one of those girls whose lives revolved around their boyfriends, but now that she had one, she was certainly beginning to understand how those girls felt.

Kelsi was getting ready for her study session with Jason (every Saturday at 2) when her phone rang. Seeing that it was Ryan, she enthusiastically picked up and said hi. "Hey Kelsi, what's up?"

"Not too much, just waiting for Jason to come over," she said. "Oh right, you guys are doing that…thing," Ryan said slightly absentmindedly. Kelsi knew that Ryan wasn't completely comfortable with her and Jason getting together. He had never really come out and said anything definitive, but he always seemed to "forget" about them at convenient times, and when Kelsi brought up something that had happened during the study sessions, he made an attempt at changing the subject. Kelsi thought his jealousy was rather odd, as their meetings were extremely innocent, and Ryan never seemed to mind her spending time with Zeke, which she about as often as she was with Jason. But whenever she thought of it, Kelsi put Ryan's jealousy in the back of her mind. If Ryan didn't find it important enough to bring up, she figured that she shouldn't press the matter. "So I was wondering if you wanted to hang out later tonight," she heard Ryan say, "you know…when you guys are done."

"Oh, yeah…that sounds good," Kelsi said. "Great. I was thinking we should go somewhere nice, it is sort of our one month anniversary." This fact struck Kelsi rather abruptly. Even though they had talked about the upcoming one-month mark, time with Ryan seemed to be so different that she couldn't believe that it had been a month already. "I um, I didn't really get you anything," Kelsi said guiltily. "Oh, that's fine. We said that we weren't going to buy each other anything," Ryan said. "Oh, yeah…right," Kelsi said, highly relieved, "I guess I forgot about that."

"Don't worry about it," Ryan said, knowing that Kelsi could be very absentminded at times. It was one of her little quirks that attracted him to her so much. "So, where are we going?" Kelsi asked. "Hmm, I think I'm going to keep that a surprise for now," Ryan said coyly. "You're very mysterious Mr. Evans," Kelsi said, matching his tone. As she finished speaking, she heard a knock at her door, and figured that it was Jason, "Oh, I have to go," she said quickly, though apologetically to Ryan, and hung up after he had said goodbye, then went to the door.

The first half hour of the study session went more or less the same way in which all the others had. Perhaps the only difference was that Jason seemed somewhat preoccupied, as if his mind was somewhere else. He had made a mistake when explaining a problem on circular motion to Kelsi, which she had never seen him do. Now that they were going over the Reformation, he seemed to be only half listening. But if there was something wrong, he did a pretty good job of hiding it, and Kelsi didn't notice anything major until he interrupted her in midsentence. "Um, Kelsi…" he said, looking as if he had something important to say. "Yes?" she asked, suddenly realizing that his face looked much different than usual. His normal brightness seemed gone, replaced by a look of deep introspection. "…could you go over the difference between the Catholic Reformation and the Counterreformation again…I think I missed that."

"Yeah, sure," Kelsi said, somewhat confused as she was certain that Jason was about to say something of great importance. As she started to explain, Jason again interrupted. "I know the difference," he said. "What?"

"I know what the difference is between the two."

"Oh, okay…why did you ask me to go over it then?" she asked, thoroughly confused now. "Because…I don't know…Look, I have to tell you something," Jason said, resting his head on his hands and looking very frustrated, "What is it?"

"I…I don't need your help with history. I haven't needed your help on it for a while now. I mean, I have like a 94 right now." Kelsi still wasn't sure what Jason's point was. "So, are you saying you don't want to do this anymore?

"You're really not making this easy for me Kelsi," Jason said, laughing grimly and painfully. "What exactly am I not making easier for you?" she asked, feeling guilty that she was making him feel so bad, but even worse that she didn't know what she was doing to make him feel that way. "Look, this is probably a really stupid thing to say, and it's probably going to make you hate me. But I don't come over here to work on history. I come over here to be with you…because; I really, really like you." Kelsi could think of absolutely nothing to say. This position was a completely new one for her, and she could think of nothing that could possibly make it any less awkward. "Wow," she finally managed, realizing that she would have to speak eventually. "I'm sorry. I know you're with Ryan, and I feel so bad for saying this. But I had to say it. It's been driving me crazy," Jason said, now sitting lower in his chair than Kelsi had thought possible. Kelsi was still too shocked to make a coherent sentence, as she had never seen this coming. She had seen Jason as a friend, and couldn't picture him seeing her in any other way. "I think I'm going to go," Jason said in a last ditch attempt to save his dignity. "Oh, okay…" Kelsi told him. To be honest, a part of her didn't really want him to leave. But her mind wouldn't function well enough for her to be able to say that, and the other part of her could understand why Jason was in such a hurry to leave, as that part was desperate to be in any other social situation than this one. After saying an awkward goodbye, Kelsi sat at the table for a couple more minutes, trying to think of what to do. Realizing that she had to talk this over with someone, she decided to call Zeke. Her first instinct was Ryan, but she realized how awful of an idea this was when she thought of what Ryan's reaction might be, especially considering his previous jealousy.

Dialing his number, Kelsi waited a few rings until she heard Zeke's voice say "Hello?"

"Hey, its Kelsi."

"Oh hey Kelsi. I need to get your opinion on this new custard recipe I've been working on. I've been thinking about putting in nutmeg, but I'm still not positive."

"Oh, actually, can we talk about that later? There's sort of something I need to talk to you about," Kelsi said. "Oh, yeah…what is it?" Zeke asked, noticing her tone. Kelsi briefly described what Jason had said. When she finished, Zeke spoke in a disappointed tone. "Oh God, I told him not to tell you," he said. "Wait, you knew?" Kelsi asked.

"Yeah, I mean…Jason's my best friend. We tell each other all of this stuff. But I told him not to tell you. I told him that you guys would both just end up miserable. He said that he agreed, but I guess he changed his mind or something. Ugh, I'm going to have to have a very long talk with him."

"Don't worry about it Zeke," Kelsi said, "I'm…sort of glad that he told me."

"Really?"

"Well, no…I guess not. But I can understand why he did it. It's just…he chose a really bad time to do it. It's kind of funny really, if I wasn't with Ryan I would probably be really happy…but I am with Ryan."

"Yeah…well, is there anything I can do to help?"

"You can tell Jason how bad I feel. I'm pretty sure he won't want to face me, and I know that I don't want to face him."

"Don't worry, I'll talk to him," Zeke said. "Thanks…Oh God, how am I going to tell Ryan?" Kelsi asked as the thought popped into her head suddenly. "Don't," Zeke said emphatically. "Why not?"

"What good will come from you telling him?" Zeke asked rhetorically, "the only thing that will happen is you'll have three miserable people instead of two. Look, just give Jason some time to get over this and move on. Trust me, nothing good can come from Ryan finding out." Zeke had certainly convinced Kelsi about not telling Ryan, but she was still just as confused as ever. She was about to say something else when she heard a beeping in the background, and Zeke suddenly said, "Oh, I've got to go…the oven's ready."

"Oh, alright…talk to you later."

"Bye Kelsi."

"Bye." Though Kelsi was somewhat disappointed that she didn't have anyone to talk to, she understood Zeke's abrupt goodbye, as she was the same way with her music. As her thoughts turned to music, she walked toward the piano. It seemed like a much better companion than she thought any person ever could be. But because of her recently busy schedule, she had been neglecting it (at least compared to her standards). Figuring that now was the best possible time to get reacquainted; she lifted the cover over the keys and sat down to play.

**I'm gonig to try to get the next chapter up relatively soon, as its sort of a continuation of this one. **

**Let me know what you thought, preferably in review form.**


	9. A Confession, Part 2

**This is (so far) the only chapter that doesn't have Kelsi in it, but I wrote it to explain a bit of the background of the last chapter. Hope you like it. I don't own High School Musical.**

Jason sat on his bed, leaning against the wall. He had driven straight home, and went to his room immediately, ignoring his mother asking why he had gotten home so early. The slam of his door probably served as answer enough. For the next hour, he did nothing but reflect on what he did, pausing to occasionally shoot the mini basketball into the small net attached to his door, though he missed almost every time that he made a shot. Why hadn't he listened to Zeke? At the time it had seemed like a good idea, but as he reflected on it, it became less and less intelligent until he couldn't even remember what made him do it at all. The only thing that he could concentrate on was Kelsi's face after he told her. It was so shocked, so innocent, but at the same time it was the face that caused his anguish.

He heard a knocking on his door. Thinking that it was his mom coming up to yell at him for ignoring her, he gave a noncommittal groan, more to say that he was still alive than that he wanted to talk to anyone. But when the door opened he saw that it was Zeke on the other side, holding a bowl of what looked like custard and two smaller bowls and spoons. "Hey, can I come in?" Zeke asked. Jason simply repeated the noncommittal groan. Taking that as a yes, Zeke came in and sat down in a chair by Jason's bed. Not feeling like starting a conversation, or even talking in general, Jason waited until Zeke spoke. "So, you told her?" Zeke asked, already knowing the answer. "If you wanted to yell at me and say 'I told you so' you could have done it over the phone," Jason said spitefully. He didn't mean to be so rude, but at the moment the usually cheerful young man couldn't think of anything but his own misery. "That's not why I came here man," Zeke said, forcefully enough to make himself clear but without being overly harsh. "Then what are you doing here? And how did you know?" Jason asked, looking up for the first time since Zeke had arrived. "Kelsi called me."

"Oh," Jason said, not yet ready to talk about her, or even to hear her name. "If it helps she feels awful," Zeke told him sympathetically. He of all people knew what rejection felt like. "Yeah?" Jason asked, for the first time not wearing a completely depressed face, though it still wasn't even close to a smile. "Yeah…maybe I shouldn't be telling you this, but she said that if she wasn't with Ryan she would have been thrilled about you asking her," Zeke said, forcing a cheerful face. "Well, she is…so that doesn't do me too much good does it?"

"You want some custard? Its still warm," Zeke said, unable to give an answer to Jason's question that wouldn't depress his friend. "Sure, whatever," Jason said, slipping back into his lethargic state. As Zeke scooped out a bowl for each of them, he tried to make conversation, turning the subject away from Kelsi. "Yeah, Steve Nash is looking pretty good this year."

"Think they can go all the way this year?"

"I don't know…tough competition in the West. They've got potential though." The conversation went on like this for some time until Jason was ready to bring up Kelsi. "Why did I tell her?" he said, just as Zeke was giving his opinion on Amare Stoudemire's value as a three point shooter. "Oh, we're talking about this now?"

"I mean, what did I think would happen?"

"Well, you probably thought that she would magically fall in love with you and forget all about Ryan."

"Shut up," Jason said, though not harshly. "Seriously though man, what did you think would happen?"

"I don't know…I don't think I ever thought it would end well. But I just couldn't be around her without her knowing. It's been driving me crazy."

"Sucks that Evans got to her first huh?" After a couple of seconds, Jason said "That's the worst thing…he didn't."

"Um, maybe your depression has screwed up your sense of time, but they've been going out for like, a month now. You just told her today."

"Yeah, I told her that I like her today. You know how long I've liked her?"

"I don't know, a couple of months?" Zeke guessed. "Try four years," Jason said, telling someone this for the first time. "Four years? How have you even known her for that long?"

"Well, our parents are friends, so I always sort of knew her, but we were never like, friends. Then, the first day of freshman year I got lost going to Algebra. I was running around so I wouldn't be late, and there wasn't really anyone in the hall. Well, I turned a corner and ran right into her."

"I think that's the least romantic story that I've ever heard."

"You had to be there," Jason said, now becoming more and more absorbed in the story that he had gone over in his head countless times. "Well, anyway, I ran right into her. We've known each other since we were like 5 years old but I don't think either of us recognized the other. We both thought that the other was going to freak out," Jason said with a faint smile, "eventually we just started laughing. She had been going to the same place as me, so we went together, even though it took us like 20 minutes to get there. We both had detentions…it was the best detention I've ever had. We sort of lost touch after that, until this year. I don't even think she remembers that it ever happened. But ever since that day, I've been in love." After Jason finished, Zeke wasn't sure how to respond. "Wow," he said.

"I know…it's sort of pathetic…"

"No it isn't. I mean, maybe a little that you never did anything about it? Why didn't you?"Zeke asked, now very interested. "I don't know, I never really got the chance to get to know her, and you know Kelsi, she doesn't exactly go out of her way to meet new people. It turned into more of a crush until this year. But it's too late now." Zeke thought for a minute. "No it isn't," he said. "Trust me, it is," Jason said with a wry laugh. "Look, just tell her that story. Maybe it will change something."

"Yeah, she'll be even more creeped out."

"Look, you've got nothing to lose, right? I'm not saying you should try to break her and Ryan up, but she deserves to hear what you have to say," Zeke said adamantly. "You really think so?" Jason asked doubtfully. "I don't know, to be honest. Maybe it won't change a thing, but if you've felt this way about her for so long, then she deserves to know, and you deserve a fair chance with her." After a few seconds of thought, Jason nodded his head. "Yeah, okay…you're right," he said, with as much conviction as he could muster. "Great man, now come on. Let's call Troy and Chad. I could go for some two-on-two."

**Well, hope you liked it. If you can't tell I know next to nothing about basketball. Let me know what you thought. **


	10. One Month

Kelsi had been waiting by the front door for over a half hour, even though it was still a few minutes before Ryan was supposed to arrive. After a few hours on the piano, her mind had turned fully to that night. She still felt awful about what had happened with Jason, but she didn't allow herself to be preoccupied about that, at least not now. She had decided that she would talk to him about it later, but tonight was about her and Ryan, and nothing else. Never one who was overly worried about her appearance, she tried on a month's worth of outfits, and tried on countless more variations of other outfits until she managed to find the one that didn't make her completely hate everything about the way she looked. Her dad had assured her that she looked great, but he had said that about just about all of the other outfits as well.

After finally resigning herself to an outfit, she paced in front of the front door for some time, wondering why Ryan had not arrived, until she realized that he still wasn't due for quite a while. But by this time she had so much on her mind that she continued her frantic pacing. She couldn't figure out why she was so nervous. They had gone out on plenty of dates before. Perhaps it was simply stress about their anniversary, perhaps it was guilt about what had happened with Jason, maybe it was merely the fact that she had never truly gotten over all of her insecurities about herself.

Ryan was very nervous as he walked towards Kelsi's front door for their date that night. Normally, being with Kelsi made him feel relaxed, but he knew that tonight would be the opposite. Not only was it their one month anniversary, he had to tell her something that could change their relationship forever. Everything had to go perfectly.

After what seemed like the longest walk of his life, he knocked on the front door. Almost immediately, it was opened by Kelsi, who looked just as nervous as Ryan, though they both tried desperately to hide their apprehension. "You look really nice," Ryan said, breaking the initial silence. "Thanks," Kelsi said, "You too," she told him, her voice getting considerably quieter as she spoke the last two words. "Thanks."

After saying goodbye to Mr. Nielsen, they headed to Ryan's car, where the mood started to lighten at least slightly. "so, where are we going?" Kelsi asked. "I think that will have to be a surprise for just a little bit longer," Ryan told her coyly. "Can I at least guess?"

"You can try. There's no way that you'll get it though," Ryan told her as he drove out of her driveway. After guessing a few restaurants that they had been to before, Kelsi couldn't think of anywhere else. "Can't you just tell me what restaurant it is?"

"Who said anything about a restaurant?" Ryan asked her. "Well I'm guessing that we're going to eat…"

"Good guess."

"And, that's usually done in a place where food is served, such as, a restaurant."

"This is true," Ryan said, still not giving away any information. Noticing that they were headed out of town into the New Mexican wilderness, and up a winding dirt road that ascended a large hill, Kelsi's interest was heightened even more, but she decided to let their ultimate destination be a surprise and didn't press the issue. Finally, after what seemed like a very long climb up the hill, which seemed more like a small mountain now that they were at the top, Ryan stopped the car. "Where are we?" Kelsi asked, very curious about their location. "Get out and see," Ryan told her. As she opened the door and turned around, Kelsi was mystified. Not only could she see all of Albuquerque, which from such a distance and height, seemed to be majestically lit up, the sky was illuminated with more stars than Kelsi had ever seen. "Wow, this is incredible," she said. "Yeah, it's great up here," Ryan said, now holding a blanket, lantern, and picnic basket. They set up the blanket together, and Ryan began to serve them each helping of fettuccine alfredo that, with his sister's help, he had spent all day making. "How did you find out about this place?" Kelsi asked, as they began to eat. "My dad was looking to buy some land out here for something. I don't know what, probably trying to make his own miniature city or something. Well, he took me along to look at some places, and we came here. I knew you'd love it here," he told her, secretly praising the heavens that she had not complained about the fact that it was very windy, dark (even with the lantern) and colder than he had expected. The night was going perfectly.

Kelsi was enjoying herself just as much as Ryan was, and was both surprised and flattered to see how much Ryan had gone through to ensure that they had a good time. She was having much more than just 'a good time.' As the night went on, she slowly realized that this was the most magical, wonderful night of her life, with one of the most incredible people she had ever met. They talked about everything together: life, music, politics, religion, philosophy, everything. Then there were times when no words were needed, and they just leaned against each other and enjoyed the starlit night. But in the back of his mind, Ryan was still nervous. He knew that he had to tell Kelsi something that he was afraid to say, but he knew that it had to be said sometime that night. In order to put that moment off, he brought up a topic that they had not discussed either that night or ever: the future. "So, do you know what you want to do in college?" he asked Kelsi. She thought for a minute. It was a topic that she had avoided thinking about for as long as possible, but one that she felt she had always known the answer to in the back of her mind. I've always wanted to do something with music," she said, "I don't know what exactly, but I've never felt as good as when I'm sitting at the piano, playing something I love. What about you?"

"I'm not really sure. I mean, I really like music too. Bu I think I want to go into something a little more…practical."

"What do you mean 'practical'?" Kelsi asked, not trying to sound overly defensive, though she knew that she had sounded that way immediately after the words left her mouth, and she hoped that Ryan wouldn't take them the wrong way. "Well, you know," he responded, slightly taken back by the swiftness with which she responded, "It's just that...it isn't really easy to make a living as a musician. I mean, I'd like to have some stability in my life," as Ryan finished the sentence, his voice also became more defensive, though he did not mean to sound that way, and he regretted sounding that way immediately after he spoke. "So you'd rather do something you hate as long as you get to keep your nice outfits?" she asked him, knowing that he hadn't said anything of that nature, but she couldn't stop herself, as she felt that he had been attacking her dreams. "You know that isn't what I meant Kelsi," Ryan said, his anger beginning to match Kelsi's, but before going on, he stopped himself, "Look, can we just…talk about something different?" he asked, knowing that if this conversation kept going, his plan would be completely derailed. "Well, I don't think you can just say that I'm impractical and then try to wave it off that easily," Kelsi said, sounding both hurt and even slightly spiteful. "You know I didn't say that," Ryan said, his voice getting louder in desperation.

"Well what did you say then?"

"I just meant that a career in music might not be the smartest thing. I mean, for me. Maybe it is good for you, that's up to you," he said, desperately trying to appeal to Kelsi, even though he wasn't sure exactly why she was overreacting so much. "Fine," Kelsi said, more because she didn't want to argue than because she understood what Ryan was saying. They went back to better topics, but it wasn't the same for the rest of the night. They tried to pretend that a rift had not developed between them, but they both secretly knew that it had.

Ryan knew that his plan was dead, at least for that night. After their first real fight there was no way that he could tell her that he loved her.

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**Just as things start to look okay everything falls apart! Well, if it helps, I've pretty much decided that this will end as Ryelsi (like 93 certain), also, I'm almost done writing and when I do finish I'll probably be updating very quickly. Please give any thoughts/compliments/questions/criticisms/whatever that you may have.**


	11. Untitled

**This isn't the most eventful chapter I'll admit, butI think its important, because it gives a bit of clarification to what happened in the last few chapters. Also, I should note that just because she's the main character, I'm not trying to make Kelsi out to be the victim (at least not completely). There have definitely been things that she's done in this story that are just as bad as anyone else. Just thought I should clear up any possible confusion. I also don't own High School Musical.**

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The next few days were very odd for both Ryan and Kelsi. The day after, Ryan called Kelsi, but the conversation was extremely awkward, and consisted of both of them wildly dancing around any topic that might bring up their fight. Neither called the other for the next week, and they only saw each other during rehearsals and lunch (though at both they didn't make any particularly close contact, except what was enough to keep people from becoming suspicious). But people did notice that they seemed much less close than normal. Besides the fact that they averted eye contact, the others realized that they had been in the cafeteria for the whole week. They didn't sneak away from the group during lunch to go to the stage crew room, as they often did at least a couple of times a week. 

No one really knew what the cause of the new development in their relationship was, but there were many different reactions to it. Sharpay was initially furious at Kelsi for making Ryan so depressed (even though Ryan never confirmed to his sister that Kelsi was the cause of his recent melancholy), but when Ryan found out that she had confronted Kelsi, he told her to stay out of their business. He knew that they could never set over whatever it was that had come between them with everyone trying to give relationship advice. Of course, Sharpay could have reminded Ryan that if she hadn't stayed 'out of their business' him and Kelsi never would have begun to date in the first place, but she realized that her brother didn't need any additional hassling.

The fact that the relationship was suffering was not considered so bad by everyone. Both Zeke and Jason had noticed the rift between the two, and Zeke encouraged Jason to take advantage of it. Of course, they both felt bad that something was happening between Kelsi and Ryan, who they were both friends with. But Zeke knew that his friend needed some sort of window to express his true feelings for Kelsi. This was the perfect time to do it. But despite his earlier promise to tell Kelsi how he felt, Jason was once again having doubts. He claimed that he felt bad about taking advantage of Kelsi while she was vulnerable, but in all honesty he was more afraid than anything. He still felt the pain from when he was rejected once, and he didn't think that he could face it again. To make things even more difficult, Kelsi seemed to be reverting to her old, introverted ways. She hadn't gotten together with the group outside of school for some time and in homeroom she began to move away from the circle, preferring to sit alone. Their weekly study sessions had stopped as well, though Jason had expected this. Even if he could manage the courage to tell her, he wouldn't be able to if they never spoke.

Ryan had been going through something surprisingly similar, though he had no clue that anyone else felt the way that he did about Kelsi. He just wasn't sure what she wanted from him. He had tried to not bring up what had happened, and that just ended up with a conversation full of awkward pauses while both of them tried to ignore the elephant in the room. Then, realizing that the 'forgetting about it' approach was getting nowhere, he made an attempt at bringing up their fight. At first, Kelsi pretended to not know what he was talking about, but when she realized that he wouldn't drop the issue that easily, she tried told him that she just wasn't feeling well and was getting tired, that she could barely even remember why she had gotten so angry. She said that they should just "forget it had ever happened." But Ryan knew that Kelsi wasn't being honest. Ryan knew that Kelsi had looked fine until that topic had been brought up. And despite her request of forgetting about it, she seemed to remember it very clearly. Before that night, music made up a very good part of their conversations. They talked about many things, but music was by far the greatest bond they had between them. But now, Kelsi always seemed hesitant to bring it up. Except when they were at rehearsals for the musical, she never asked his opinion on anything that she had been working on. Ryan found it cruelly ironic that the thing that had brought them together was what was now keeping them so isolated from each other. The worst part for him, though, was the lack of conclusiveness in their relationship. He knew that everything was not alright, and he knew that Kelsi was aware of this as well. Yet whenever he tried to bring up anything related to them as a couple, even if it had nothing to do with their fight, she had dismissed whatever he had said, usually just saying "everything's fine," or some variation of that. It was infinitely frustrating for Ryan. He still loved her, but if she didn't want to be with him, why wouldn't she just tell him instead of trying to hide the problems that they both knew existed.

As for Kelsi herself, she was just as confused as Ryan. She realized that he was trying to reach out to her, but she just wasn't ready. There were a few reasons behind this. First, she was still somewhat upset that he had (in her mind at least) trivialized her dreams. But she eventually realized that she wasn't really that upset about that. Much of what was restraining her was simple fear. She could sense that Ryan was ready to take their relationship to another level, and she just wasn't ready for this. She didn't know that Ryan was going to tell her that he loved her, but she could tell that he had put in much more of himself into their relationship than she was ready to. She wasn't used to someone who made elaborate dinner plans just to impress her. While this had initially made her feel good about herself, she later realized that it showed just how much he cared about her, and having someone who cared so much about her scared her a little, and it certainly made her feel guilty that she wasn't ready to give as much as he was. But she also knew that she did care about Ryan, more than she had ever cared for anyone else outside of her family.

Because of this, her mind was in a sort of stagnant state. She was unable to make herself commit more, but she couldn't bring herself to hurt Ryan, so whenever he asked if something was wrong, she tried to dismiss it casually. But it was becoming harder and harder for her to do this. She was slowly realizing that they wouldn't be able to hide from the truth forever. But she clung desperately to hopes that they would be able to do so, because she had no clue what would happen if she were to truly look inside of herself. Would she find that she wanted to commit all of herself to Ryan, as he was willing to do for her? Or would she be forced to realize that other parts of her life were more important to her than him? Either way, she was terrified about both scenarios.

Perhaps the only thing that she was currently positive about was her music. She didn't realize it at the time, but the first time that she actually said that she wanted to be a musician was during their fight. But ever since then, she had increased her conviction, and began researching colleges that had strong music programs. College plans were a whole other fear that Kelsi had, but now she felt that she had some more direction. She had begun becoming less interested in the songs she was writing for the musical, many of which were beginning to seem frivolous, and started to focus even more on her own compositions. It was all that she had to cling to. The only thing that she knew was constant.

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**Well, let me know what you thought...Hopefully I'll have another chapter up today. The next chapter has a pretty big surprise in it (or at least I think so). **


	12. Everything Else

**So yeah, I haven't updated this in a really long time...Sorry about that. I kind of lost interest in this story, so kind of stopped updating even though I had pretty much finished writing. Anyway, just in case anyone was keeping up with it I figured I'd put up the rest...sorry its all in one chapter, I'm very lazy. I marked in where the chapter breaks should be. I actually like the last few chapters a lot, so even though I lost interest in the story as a whole.**

Perhaps the only person who Kelsi had actually built a stronger relationship with (besides her music, which at times seemed to have a life of its own) was Zeke. There were a couple of reasons for this. First of all, he understood Kelsi's unwavering devotion to her music because he had the same experience with cooking. Most people thought that it was just a hobby of his, or a way to get his mind off of stress from basketball, but it was much more. He saw cooking as an art form, and he was positive that it was something that he wanted to do for the rest of his life. Few other people were so devoted to a single thing at such a young age, and the fact that both him and Kelsi were gave them a sort of instant bond. Just as important was the simple fact that, with Kelsi avoiding both Jason and Ryan, she didn't have too many other people to hang out with. Of course she was friends with Gabriella, Troy, Taylor, and Chad, but the two couples were often very attached to each other, and unless there was something going on with the whole group, whoever was with them often unintentionally became a fifth wheel.

Perhaps the most important reason (at least in Zeke's eyes) was that it gave him a chance to help Jason. When he was with Kelsi, he would often drop subtle hints about his friend; trying to put him in a positive light. He and Jason agreed that neither of them would go out of their way to break up Kelsi and Ryan, but it was painfully obvious that her and Ryan were not looking great as a couple, and Zeke knew that Jason was too afraid to tell Kelsi how he felt again, so Zeke took it upon himself to make sure that both Jason and Kelsi (who Zeke was beginning to think of as one of his closest friends) find happiness. He had come to terms with the fact that he would probably never be with Sharpay (though this didn't end his crush on her), so he had decided that if he couldn't find love, he might as well help his friends discover it.

He and Kelsi were at his house, she was helping him make a new recipe for truffles. "Hmm, needs…something," Zeke said, deep in thought as he tried the latest batch and handed Kelsi a truffle. "Hmm" Kelsi said as she tried the truffle. It was already brilliant, and the delicious taste instantly filled her mouth, but she agreed with Zeke, there was something missing. "Peppermint?" she suggested. Zeke thought for a second, and then his face lit up. "Yes!," he exclaimed, as he went into the spice cabinet and pulled out the peppermint extract. He got out the smallest spoon that Kelsi had ever seen, and slowly filled it with peppermint extract. "That's it?" she asked as he poured it into the batter and they began to roll it into little balls. "Trust me, you don't need any more than that. This baby's strong," he said, unscrewing the lid and holding it up for Kelsi to smell. As Zeke had promised, it was extremely strong, and Kelsi felt like her nose was about to fall off. Giving off several small sneezes, she said "wow…you don't joke around with your peppermint." Laughing at this, Zeke got Kelsi a glass of water and said, "Oh no…I take my peppermint very seriously."

The next batch turned out to be the winner, even gaining Zeke's approval, and he and Kelsi took a little break. "So have you talked to Jason recently?" he asked, trying to sound casual. "Umm, no not really," Kelsi said. Zeke hadn't been quite as subtle as he had intended, and Kelsi was beginning to notice that he brought Jason up quite often, though she was never positive why he did so. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, I just thought that he was talking about calling you about something. Maybe you guys starting your study things again, I'm not sure…something like that," Zeke said, still trying to sound nonchalant. "Oh," Kelsi said, "well, if he wants to do that, I guess that I would be okay with that. I mean, they really helped me with physics."

"You know, he feels really bad about, you know…what he told you," Zeke said. "I know…you've told me," Kelsi said. In fact, Kelsi was making an understatement, as Zeke had actually told her this on numerous occasions. "Yeah…I just, wanted to make sure you knew," Zeke said lamely, "so, are you going to…call him?" Zeke asked. Kelsi thought for a few seconds before speaking. "I don't know. I mean, I've got a lot going on with…Ryan. Maybe I shouldn't be talking to someone who likes me when me and Ryan are going through…this," Kelsi said with just as weak of a finish as Zeke's had been. "What exactly did happen between you and Ryan?" Zeke asked. This was a question that he asked more out of his own curiosity than out his desire to help Jason. Before this moment, whenever Ryan had come up, Kelsi had assured Zeke that everything was fine. Now that she finally admitted that things weren't great, Zeke hoped that he might even find out what had caused trouble between them. Kelsi thought for a moment. "If I tell you, you have to promise not to tell anyone, okay?"

"Yeah, of course," Zeke said honestly. He knew that no matter what she was going to tell him, he wouldn't tell a soul.

Kelsi told the entire story, from her franticness at finding the right outfit to the fight itself. The whole time, she told the story with an odd mix of shame at being so affected by what she was sure sounded like something very small, and relief at finally being able to share her feelings on the matter. "So do you think I overreacted?" Kelsi asked when she finished. Zeke wasn't sure how to answer this question. On the one hand, he understood where Kelsi was coming from. If someone had told him that cooking was too frivolous to be considered as a real career, he probably wouldn't react well either. But on the other hand, he didn't think that it was such a large argument that Ryan and Kelsi had no hope. They were just in high school, after all, and there was no need for them to plan their lives around each other just yet. Then, on the third hand (he wasn't sure how there could be three hands, but disregarded this) there was Jason. Zeke really didn't want to ruin his best friend's chances of being with Kelsi, which he realized could happen if he told Kelsi what he really thought. Finally, Zeke's better judgment won the battle in his mind. "Well, I get why you were mad, but just because you want to go into music and Ryan doesn't, that's no reason why you guys can't be together, at least for now. "Yeah, I know…but I just don't know how I can face him now. I mean, it's only been a couple of weeks, but how can we go back to the way things were?"

"Well, I don't know if you can. But if you really care about him, and he really cares about you, then there's no reason why you can't be get through it. And yeah, maybe it won't be the same as it was before, but who knows, maybe it will be better," Zeke said. He was smiling encouragingly but on the inside he was much less sure of himself. He knew that he was effectively killing any chance that Jason had with the girl who he had loved all through high school. But at the same time, he knew that if he didn't say it then he could be permanently breaking up Ryan and Kelsi, who were, though he didn't want to admit it out of loyalty to Jason, a great couple who really did deserve each other. If he were to do that, then he wasn't sure how he would be able to live with himself.

"Thanks Zeke," Kelsi said, feeling good about herself for the first time since her and Ryan's fight. "How'd you get to be so smart about this sort of thing?' she asked. "Who knows?" Zeke said, "It's not like my love life is so great," he said, rolling his eyes. "Just because one stuck up girl doesn't see how great of a guy you are?" Zeke was grateful to Kelsi for trying to help, but he wasn't comforted too much. "Look, I've heard this all before. 'You're a great guy Zeke,' 'she doesn't deserve you,'" Zeke said, beginning to grow frustrated. "Well it's true. I mean, you could do so much better than Sharpay," Kelsi said earnestly. "Thanks, but I don't believe it. I mean, I know that I've gotten way too hung up on Sharpay. But even if I hadn't, it isn't like there's some horde of girls following me around. Maybe a couple that just want to date a basketball player, but how many girls do you know that would really go out with me?"

Kelsi wasn't sure how to respond. Off the top of her head, she admittedly couldn't think of anyone off the top of her head, but that didn't change her opinion of Zeke. "Look, you're an incredible guy, Zeke. I mean, you're smart, funny, you can cook like, everything," Kelsi said, making Zeke smile a little, "Oh, and you have something on your cheek," she said pointing to a piece of dough on Zeke's cheek that he had missed when he cleaned up. "Oh," he said, beginning to scratch his face. "No, still there," Kelsi said, smiling and reaching over to help Zeke. As she touched his cheek, they were both surprised as there was a mutual spark that neither had expected. Kelsi wasn't sure who leaned in first, or how long it took, but the next thing she knew, their lips had met and their arms met each other in a warm embrace.

Then, just as suddenly as it had happened, they realized just what they were doing, and both withdrew in shock. "Ohmigod," Zeke said. Kelsi was not yet able to make any sounds whatsoever, but her eyes, wide and filled with surprise, said more than enough. "What-What?" Zeke stuttered. "Um, well…I…" Kelsi said, no more successful in making a coherent sentence. "Did we…?"

"I think we might have," Kelsi said. "Umm, how did that happen?"

"I…I…I don't know."

"I'm sorry," Zeke said, with a look of fear on his face. "You don't have to apologize," Kelsi said. "Wait, so did you want that to…" Zeke asked, confused by her previous comment. "No! I mean, did you?"

Oh, no…no," Zeke said shaking his head vigorously. "Okay, good," Kelsi said. "So…what do we do?" Zeke asked after a few moments had passed. "I don't know…I mean, it was-"

"Nice?" Zeke finished the sentence uncertainly. "Yeah," Kelsi said, ashamed to admit it. "We can't do that again though," Zeke insisted. "Oh, no…no. Definitely not," Kelsi said, "and we can't tell anyone," she added, thinking of Ryan. "Right," Zeke said, though he had been thinking about Jason. "So, I'm going to go check on the truffles," Zeke said, and left the room hurriedly. Both he and Kelsi knew that, as they had said, nothing like this would ever happen again. But they also both knew that they weren't nearly as ashamed for what they did as they had pretended to be, and that, in a different situation, they would have remembered it as their first, not their last kiss.

**end of chapter**

Just one day after her kiss with Zeke, Kelsi went to Ryan's house, determined to, if she couldn't completely fix everything, at least try. She knocked on the door, and was greeted by Sharpay, who didn't look happy to see Kelsi. "Hello," she said curtly. "Hi," Kelsi responded, in a soft but not meek voice, "is Ryan here?"

"So now you want to talk to him?" Sharpay asked, shooting a poisonous look at Kelsi. "Look, I should have talked to him sooner, I know, but can please you just tell me if he's here?" Sharpay didn't look too inclined to do so, and things could have gotten bad for Kelsi if Ryan hadn't walked by the door at that moment. "Kelsi," he said, surprised to see her. "Hi," she responded. "Come in," he said. Sharpay gave him a look that seemed cautionary, but Ryan nodded that it was okay.

"So, what's up?" he asked when they got to his room. "Um, not too much," she said, "look Ryan, I'm really sorry," she told him, deciding not to walk around the issue anymore than she already had. "You don't have to apologize," Ryan said with a light tone. He was just happy that she had made contact with him. "Yeah, I do. I've been stupid. I shouldn't have shut you out like that. I was treating you terribly by ignoring you, and I swear it won't happen again."

"Look, Kels, don't worry about it. You're here now, that's all that matter, right?"

"No, I mean, you were right, we can't ignore what happened. If we do, it's just going to happen again, and eventually we won't be able to stand each other, and I don't want that."

"Me either."

"Then we need to talk," Kelsi said, both afraid and excited to have the chance to really look at her relationship with Ryan. "Okay," Ryan said nodding. "What you said, about music not being practical, I know I overreacted, but it really hurt me. I don't think you know just how much music means to me. When you said that, it was like you were trivializing everything about me."

Ryan nodded, and then responded. "Look Kels, I never wanted to make you feel bad, and I feel awful that you ever thought that I would. You know that right?"

"Yeah, I mean, I do now. But, there was a lot more than just that one thing."

"Did I do something wrong?" Ryan asked. "No, not at all. In fact you did everything right. I think that's what scared me so much."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we'd only been going out for a month, and here you go and put together this incredible night just for us. No one's ever done something like that for me. I mean, I'm usually happy if people don't forget my name. I just, I really didn't know what it meant. So I guess I sort of started to panic. I think anything you had said would have set me off."

"Can I tell you something Kelsi?" Ryan asked. He wasn't sure if now was the best time to do this, but if he didn't tell her he might never be able to. "Yeah, what is it?"

"Well, I didn't exactly go through all of that just for you."

"What do you mean?" Kelsi asked. "Well, I mean…I did do it for you, but I guess I had an…ulterior motive," he said slowly, "I, well I was going to tell you something that night."

"What were you going to tell me?" Kelsi asked, afraid that she already knew what it was. "Well, I was going to tell you that, I loved you…and I still do." Kelsi nodded, not sure how to respond. "I'm really sorry if that freaks you out, because I know we haven't been going out for that long, but trust me. I've thought about it for a while, and I know that I care about you more than I care about anyone else in the world. And if I had to choose doing anything with anyone in the world or just hanging out with you, it wouldn't even be close," Ryan said, looking at Kelsi with a look that was so deep that it seemed to bore into her pupils, "so, do you have anything to say?" he asked, considerably more timid than his previous comment had been. "Oh, sorry…" Kelsi said, "I was just…thinking."

"So?" Ryan asked, trying not to sound impatient.

"How can you be so sure?" she asked, knowing that this wasn't what Ryan wanted to hear, but she needed to know how he could be so passionate about her before she could say anything about her feelings toward him. "Because, when I'm with you I feel better than I ever thought possible. It's something I've never felt before, and I don't want to lose it."

"Really?" Kelsi asked, she had never pictured in herself in that way at all, and was truthfully shocked that anyone could. "Yeah, I mean…I think you're incredible."

"But I'm not good enough for you," Kelsi said, and she truthfully believed it. Ryan had done so much for her, and given her so much of himself. What had she done for him? The kiss with Zeke, which had seemed so innocent at the time, now weighed heavily on her mind, but there was much more than just the kiss that was restraining her. "Of course you are. If anything I don't deserve-"

"Ryan, listen to me. You put me before yourself. That's something that I just can't do. I wish I could…I really, really do, because I really like you. But I just can't say that I love you right now. That's why I'm not good enough for you. I think you might just be better off without me…"

"No," Ryan said adamantly, "trust me, I'd be a mess without you. I've been an absolute wreck ever since our fight. I'm okay that you can't tell me that you love me. I understand that. But I couldn't understand it if you weren't with me. I know that we belong together and so do you. I'm asking you, please don't do anything that we'll both regret." Ryan's words had calmed down Kelsi, at least somewhat. As Ryan had suspected, she had been on the brink of ending their relationship because of a desire not to hurt him. But she saw that doing that would hurt him much more than anything else she could do. "So, you really love me?" she asked, still not able to comprehend it. "Yeah, I do…" Ryan said softly. "And you know that I can't tell you that I do yet, even though I wish I could?" Ryan nodded. "So, did we just make up?"

"I think we did," Ryan said, smiling. "Are we okay?" Kelsi asked, still unsure despite what Ryan had said. "We're going to be," Ryan assured her, holding her in his arms, "I don't know if we are right now, and maybe it will take some time…but we're going to be good."

**end of chapter**

Things really did get better between Ryan and Kelsi. It may not have been perfect yet, but they had found a good balance. He had not been so up front and pressuring on Kelsi, and she had been more open with her feelings. They both had frustrations still, especially because Kelsi still couldn't bring herself to say that she loved Ryan, but for the time they were able to look past this, and just enjoy each other.

They were at Kelsi's house, enjoying a lazy Saturday afternoon. It was just a couple of weeks before the musical was set to begin, and they both knew that there would not be a moment until after it had ended, as they would be stuck in rehearsals late into the night, so they were taking today to enjoy each other's company and try to forget that there was a world outside of Kelsi's living room. They had even agreed not to talk about music for the whole day (something that they could hardly even imagine), so that they could better focus on each other.

Unfortunately, that plan was interrupted a couple of hours into the day, as there was a loud knock on Kelsi's front door. "Can we ignore it?" Ryan asked, his eyes looking adorably pleading. Kelsi wanted to do just that, but after several more knocks, it became clear that whoever it was wouldn't allow this to happen, so she got up reluctantly to answer the door, and was surprised to see Jason standing in the doorframe, looking very anxious. "Jason…" she said, unsure why he was there, though she didn't want to seem rude. "Hey, um…do you have a minute? There's something I really need to talk to you about."

"Well actually-" Kelsi began explaining that Ryan was over, but she found it unnecessary to do so, as Ryan emerged from the living room as she was in midsentence. "Hi," he said politely to Jason, though it was hard to hide the fact that he wasn't thrilled that Jason had showed up. "You okay?" Ryan asked Kelsi, quietly enough so that Jason could not hear what he had said. "Yeah, I'm fine," Kelsi responded, not trying to lower her voice as much as Ryan had. Jason instantly felt awkward, and cleared his throat loudly. "Oh, sorry," Kelsi said, turning back to Jason, "so, what's up?" she asked. "I…I need to tell you something. It's, really important," Jason said. Kelsi looked at Jason, then turned to Ryan, her eyes trying to get him to put their day on pause so that she could talk to Jason. Ryan's eyes were responding with frustration, but eventually he gave in. "Come on in," Kelsi told Jason after her silent conversation with Ryan had finished. Ryan began to follow them, but Jason stopped and said, "Um, its…sort of private." He didn't want to sound rude or too imposing, but he obviously couldn't tell someone that he loved her when her boyfriend was sitting three feet away.

He almost gave up when he had first seen Ryan, but a last minute burst of courage (and the knowledge that he couldn't show up to Kelsi's house without a reason for begin there without looking like an absolute stalker) kept him there, determined to finish what he had come to do.

Ryan didn't even try to hide his annoyance at Jason's last comment. "If you have to tell Kelsi something you can say it in front of me," he said with a slightly hostile edge. "Ryan," Kelsi said imploringly, "can you just give us a few minutes? Please?"

"Yeah," Ryan said with a deep sigh, "I'll just go walk around the block or something," Ryan said and turned to leave, though not before he gave Jason a look that was very quick, though its meaning was resoundingly clear to Jason.

"So, what did you want to talk to me about?" Kelsi asked when she heard Ryan shut the front door. "Do you remember the first day of freshman year?" Jason asked. Kelsi was surprised at the question, but thought for a minute. "No, not really. I mean, I remember some of it. I got lost like three times that day," she said smiling with reminiscence, then she began to think of a few other events that happened to her that day "oh, and I remember getting run into by someone in the hallway. He looked a lot older than me so I thought that he'd start yelling or something. He was really nice about it though. He was just another scared freshman too. We both got detention because we were so late to class. I think it was English," Kelsi said. She wasn't sure why she thought of this memory, but it had been the first thing that came to her mind when Jason asked. "Actually it was math," Jason told her when she finished. Kelsi thought for a second, "Oh yeah…it was. I remember I hated that teacher. Wait…how did you know what class it was?" Kelsi asked curiously. "Because I was the one who ran into you," Jason said with a half smile, "Remember?"

"Wow, that was you," Kelsi said, suddenly putting Jason's face on the body of the boy. "Not to sound rude or anything, but…why are you telling me this?" Kelsi asked. "Well, this isn't going to make any sense. It doesn't even make sense to me. But that was the moment that I realized that I'm in love with you." Kelsi looked disappointed at this information, though she had sensed that it was coming. "Look, before you say anything," Jason said quickly, "I realize that it sounds absolutely crazy. And I know that I shouldn't be telling you this, not now at least. I know that you're with Ryan, and I probably look like a complete jackass for saying this, but I had to do it. I've loved you for four years, and if I didn't tell you, I would have regretted it for the rest of my life. So, I really do wish I didn't have to tell you at such an awful time, but you needed to know, and I needed to tell you."

Kelsi was silent for a moment, knowing what she had to say, but having no clue how to say it. "I can go," Jason said, starting to get up as he saw that any slim chance of Kelsi feeling the same way as he did had just evaporated. "Wait," Kelsi said. "Yeah?"

"I'm really sorry. I wish it didn't have to be like this."

"Me too," Jason admitted, "I mean, it would be a lot easier if I didn't feel this way, and trust me, I've tried to deny that I do, for four years I've tried to do it. I just got sick of lying to myself, and to you."

"So, what's going to happen to us? I mean, I don't want to lose you as a friend. I really don't."

"I'm not sure I'd be the best friend for you right now," Jason said, "it isn't like I can just…turn off these feelings that I have for you."

"I know," Kelsi said, suddenly feeling just as sad as Jason was. "I should really get going," Jason said, "you shouldn't keep Ryan waiting."

"Why don't you stay for a bit? He won't mind," Kelsi asked, trying to reclaim at least a piece of their friendship. "Thanks, but I'm pretty sure he would mind," Jason said, laughing ironically. "I know," Kelsi said with a small smile, even though neither of them saw anything funny about the situation. "Well, bye," Jason said as he turned to leave. "Bye," Kelsi said almost inaudibly. She knew that she should not feel so bad about Jason leaving, she had, after all, just rejected him, but she couldn't help but experience an inexplicable wave of regret.

**end of chapter**

Kelsi sat in her living room for a couple of minutes before realizing that Ryan was still waiting for her. She ran outside, to see that Ryan was sitting in his car at her driveway. "Hey," she said. "Hi…what did Jason want?" he asked. Ryan didn't look happy, he could tell that something wasn't right. "Nothing, he just had a question about…school," Kelsi said, both not wanting to hurt Ryan or reveal Jason's secret. "Kelsi, it was something important enough that he had to say it to you alone. I know it wasn't about school," Ryan said, trying not to look too hurt. "I really can't tell you," Kelsi said apologetically, "it was personal."

"Did it have anything to do with us?" Ryan asked flatly. "Ryan-"

"Look Kelsi, I've done everything you've asked me to. I've given you time, and I've given you space, and I haven't asked anything in return. But if he was saying something about us, I deserve to know."

"Why can't you just trust me?" Kelsi implored. "Because you're lying to me!" Ryan said in a mix of anger and desperation. "Look, Ryan, Jason told me something that involved me and him. It had absolutely nothing to do with you. Please, if you don't believe me about anything else, believe this. The last thing in the world that I want is for you to be hurt, especially if it's my fault. But this is something that you're just going to have to trust me about."

Ryan was silent for some time. "I don't know if I can do that," he said finally, "I'm sorry, but if you can't trust me enough to tell me this, how can you expect me to trust you?"

"Why do we always do this?" Kelsi asked suddenly. "What do you mean?"

"Whenever things start to look good between us, whenever it seems like we're going to be okay, we let something stupid get in the way of it and we both end up miserable."

"So, what are you saying?" Ryan asked, afraid to hear her answer. "I don't know…I just, I wish it wasn't like that," Kelsi said facing downward. "Look, I'm sorry. You're right, it's something that's between you guys and I can just forget about it," Ryan said, afraid of where Kelsi was going. "Do you really mean that?"

"No," he admitted, "why do we always do this?" he echoed Kelsi's initial question. "Maybe we aren't meant to be together," Kelsi said. "No, we both know that isn't true," Ryan said quickly. "Ryan, I care about you so much, and I know you feel the same way about me, but we can't keep going in circles like this."

"Kelsi, I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have pressed you about Jason," Ryan repeated. "Don't apologize," Kelsi said, "it isn't your fault, or mine, or his. We're just…not right," Kelsi said, trying keep her voice even, though she could feel it breaking as tears began to fill up her eyes. "Kelsi, stop," Ryan said, "You don't want this. I don't want this. Why are you doing it?" he said loudly. "Ryan don't make this harder than it has to be."

"It doesn't have to happen at all. You can't do this Kelsi."

"Look, I have to go," Kelsi said as she began to walk out of Ryan's car. "Kelsi, stop!" Ryan screamed, running out of his car and trying to hold on to Kelsi. "What?!" Kelsi yelled back, "can you really tell me that anything is going to change? We'll get along great for a couple of weeks, then one of us will say something stupid, the other will overreact, we won't talk for a few days, then have a nice little reunion. But then the same thing will happen again. It's just going to end with us hating each other, and I know that I don't want that. Just let me go," Kelsi said, crying but also trying to get away from Ryan. Seeing that there was nothing that he could do to change her mind, he let go of her arms, and she began to walk away. "I'll, I'll see you at rehearsals," she said as she opened her front door. "You're making the biggest mistake of your life," Ryan said, though he knew that by not following her, he was saying it as much to himself as he was to Kelsi.

**end of chapter**

The next few days were certainly difficult for both Ryan and Kelsi, the situation not helped by the fact that they were forced to spend several hours a day together at rehearsals. Neither really wanted to see the other, but they had to work together to figure out the last minute details for the show, a situation that at best led to ignoring each other as much as possible, and at worst fighting rather viciously over the smallest details. One fight in particular, that began over which key a song should be in led to them yelling at each other and both storming out in a rage. The actors were all extremely confused by these fights, as they all knew Ryan as one of the perkiest people around, and most had never seen Kelsi openly disagree with anyone about anything.

Their arguing was beginning to lead to a dysfunctional show, as someone was often forced to either calm them down so that the rehearsal could go on, or if this could not be done, they simply ended early. This was generally okay with the actors, but as the show drew nearer, everyone could see that they were not ready, and many of the dances were still not down well enough. These problems were generally small and not too noticeable until after the rehearsal two days before the show. It was late in the night, and everyone just wanted to go home, when Gabriella and Sharpay, the two female leads, approached Ryan and Kelsi who were in the middle of a heated fight about the tempo of a song. "Um, guys," Gabriella said politely, though neither Ryan nor Kelsi noticed her. Gabriella repeated this a few times with no success until Sharpay yelled out "Hey!" making Ryan and Kelsi, as well as everyone else in the theater, jump. "You need to project, Gabriella. It's all in the diaphragm," Sharpay scolded, "anyway…we were looking over the script, and we saw that we're supposed to have a song together, but we never got any music for that."

Ryan took the script from his sister and looked it over. "I could have sworn we wrote this," he said. "Well, you never gave us the music for it, so obviously you didn't," Sharpay stated matter-of-factly. Ryan thought for a minute, suddenly his eyes got wide. "Dammit," he said under his breath. "What?" Kelsi asked. "I don't think we did this one," Ryan told her.

"What? We couldn't have forgotten it," she said. "No," Ryan said firmly, "it was the one we were going to do it last week, then…something came up," Ryan finished the sentence with a venomous edge, knowing that Kelsi would remember that what had 'come up' was their breakup. "Ohmigod, you're right," Kelsi said. In fact, she couldn't remember any plans that they had had to write the music on the day they broke up, but didn't want Ryan to get even madder at her.

"Maybe we can just cut it," Ryan suggested. "What?! This is the song that shows how their characters meet. What, are we just going to have them magically know each other?" Kelsi said angrily. "Well I'm sorry," Ryan responded in just as harsh of a tone, "maybe if you focused a little more on this and a little less on Jason than we would have had time to do it." Sharpay could tell that this argument could lead to disaster very quickly, so she interjected. "Guys, forget about it! We'll just have to do it between now and the show," she said. "We can't write a song in two days," Kelsi said. "Yeah, and then you guys have to learn it in time for the show…" Ryan began.

"It can't be done," he and Kelsi said at the same time. They looked at each other and smiled, amused by their similar thoughts, though they each covered this by mustering an angry glare. Even at such a stressful time, Sharpay and Gabriella couldn't help but look at each other in amusement of how Ryan and Kelsi were trying to deny their feelings. "Look guys," Gabriella said calmly, "I don't know how long it takes you guys to write a song, but if you can get it to us by rehearsal tomorrow I'm sure me and Sharpay can work it out." Sharpay nodded her agreement. Ryan looked over at Kelsi, and tried to gauge her reaction, as Kelsi did the same to Ryan. Neither wanted to rope the other into something they didn't want to do, and they certainly didn't want to spend that much time together, but they could see no other option. "Well, if Ryan's willing to do it then I guess I am," Kelsi finally said. "Sure," Ryan said, shrugging. "Great, thanks guys!" Sharpay said as her and Gabriella walked away, seeming not to have a care in the world.

"Well," Ryan said. "This sucks," Kelsi said, not trying to hide her annoyance. "Well trust me I'd much rather be doing something else, like sleeping maybe," Ryan said. At that moment Kelsi glanced at the clock and realized just how late it really was, the clock on the wall read just before midnight. "Well, we've got a lot of work ahead of us," Ryan said, "do you at least want to get some coffee? I feel like I'm about to fall asleep already," he suggested. Kelsi thought for a moment, and then agreed. "Sure, I'll need something to keep me up."

Kelsi held onto her book of blank sheet music and began to write down some ideas as they walked to Ryan's car. "You got anything?" Ryan asked, hoping that Kelsi would somehow be inspired enough to have a full song written in the time it took to order a coffee. "No," she said dejectedly, "I'm getting a blank."

"Oh, too bad," Ryan said flatly. "Ryan," Kelsi began, "I know you don't want to be around me for this long, and I don't want to either, but we're going to have to. So maybe we could talk some things out before we-"

"Or maybe we could just pretend that we're just two composers that have nothing else to do with one another," Ryan said, not wanting to dig up memories that were still painful for him. "Right," Kelsi said in frustration, as Ryan turned on his car and drove out of the student parking lot.

Kelsi expected Ryan to go to the place where he had taken her several months ago, as it was closest to the school. She was surprised to see him drive past it and go down a few blocks to a significantly shabbier looking place. They got out of Ryan's car and walked into the café, which was very dimly lit and didn't look very clean. "Nice place," Kelsi said under her breath. "They make strong coffee," Ryan said, "besides; it's the closest place to the school." Kelsi thought about mentioning the fact that they had passed another place, but decided not to press the topic, as there was obviously a reason why Ryan had chosen to ignore the place that he had driven right past.

After ordering from an ornery looking clerk, they got their drinks and went back to Ryan's car.

**end of chapter**

The school was completely deserted by the time that they went back, though the doors were unlocked. "Are you sure we can't just go back to my house and work on this?" Kelsi asked, not thrilled to be alone in the school in the middle of the night. "And wake up your dad?" Ryan asked sarcastically. "Well, what about your house?"

"Well, what about your house?"

"Yeah because Sharpay is so much more understanding when she's woken up than your dad is," Ryan noted with the same tone. "But what if we get in trouble?" Kelsi asked worriedly as they walked down a dark hall to the theater. "No one's here to get us into trouble," Ryan reminded her. Out of possibilities, Kelsi relented and they entered the theater. As there were no windows, it was even darker than the rest of the school had been. "Wait here," Ryan muttered, and walked off. Kelsi was initially frightened (though she wouldn't admit it to herself) but after about a minute a few stage lights came on and Ryan emerged from behind a curtain. Kelsi walked down the aisle and climbed up the stage, eventually stopping at the piano. "So, what were you thinking for this song?" Ryan asked. His bitterness was completely gone and he was all business. "Well, it's sort of a happy song, so I was thinking maybe a quicker tempo," and she played a few notes at the speed she thought would be good. "Maybe a bit slower," Ryan suggested, "I mean, it would work fine if It was just Sharpay singing but I'm not sure Gabriella can do such a fast pace."

"Hmm, like this?" Kelsi asked, slowing down the pace of the music she was playing slightly. "Yeah, that works. Now, about the actual music, I was thinking we should start with something sort of basic and catchy, to get the audience into it. Maybe a scale or a few quick chords." Ryan said. Kelsi thought for a moment, then played a few measures that were similar to Ryan's suggestion. "That's really nice," he said, speaking for the first time in neither a cold, cut off voice nor an overly professional tone, but in the warm voice that Kelsi was used to. "Thanks," she said, blushing slightly. For a second their eyes met, and time seemed to stop. "Ahem, so…about the chorus," Ryan said, coming back to reality. "Right, need a good chorus. Can't have a song without a nice, strong chorus," Kelsi said quickly. "Well, we could do something similar to that intro," Ryan suggested. "I don't know. We have a lot of songs that have a chorus that's almost identical to the intro, maybe we should switch it up a bit," Kelsi said. Ryan looked thoughtful, then thought of something. "Can I try a few things?" he asked. Kelsi stood up and Ryan went to the piano bench and played a few riffs. "I was thinking we start with this," and played a lighthearted chord followed by a few quick high notes. "And then, we vamp on those three notes for a bit, maybe have some dancing in here," he said as he repeated three notes together for a few measures. "Then, we go to a more dramatic finish," Ryan played a slightly dark sounding minor chord, "but end it on something more like this," Ryan quickly played a bright scale that ended on a daringly high note, which he held out for some time. "That's really cool," Kelsi said after he finished. "Except, maybe when the notes are repeating, we should do these notes instead," Kelsi said, playing a different set of notes, four instead of Ryan's original three, "Oh, and then…I really like how you go up at the end, but maybe we should do an A flat scale instead of a G."

"Yeah, that'll make it stand out a lot more," Ryan agreed. "Cool, so now we just need to do the verses…ugh, I'm awful at that," Kelsi said. "What do you mean?" Ryan asked incredulously, "you're verses are great," he assured her. "Really?"

"Yeah, come on…let's get through these."

The rest of the actual music writing part seemed surprisingly easy, and by the time they had the finishing touches on the music, they had even shared a few unexpected and caffeine induced laughs. However, when Kelsi looked at her phone, she saw that it read 2AM. "Um, Ryan, it's getting really late, and we still need to get the lyrics and the dances down…how are we going to get this done?" she asked, beginning to panic. "Don't worry Kels, why don't you start some lyrics and I'll think about the choreography," Ryan said reassuringly. But Kelsi suddenly looked too tired to do anything. "I haven't slept in forever," Kelsi moaned, the effects of the coffee working off. "Ugh, me either," Ryan said, as if Kelsi had reminded him just how tired he was. "Can't we just go to bed?" Kelsi suggested. "No…we have to do this," Ryan said, though it was obvious by his tone that he would love to follow her suggestion. "what if we sleep now, and finish during school?" Kelsi suggested as she yawned. "Kelsi Nielsen, skipping school?" Ryan asked in a mock indignant voice. "Well, I wouldn't call it skipping, per se," Kelsi said innocently. "Well, I'm good with whatever plan involves sleep," Ryan said and they prepared to leave. "Oh dammit," Kelsi said suddenly. "What is it?" Ryan asked. "Our parents, they'll know that I never came home last night and freak out."

"Well, fortunately my parents are on one of their 'business trips,' and Sharpay will cover if they call for some reason. Can you sneak into your house and meet me back here in the morning?" Ryan asked. "No, my room's right by his…I'd definitely wake him." Ryan thought for a few seconds. "Well, if you don't mind sleeping here, I think I've got an idea. We'll have to get up early though. I'll explain the rest in the morning."

"Where are we going to sleep?" Kelsi asked. Instead of answering, Ryan ran backstage, leaving Kelsi very confused. He emerged a minute later holding two relatively small spare stage curtains. "They're not the most comfortable beds in the world, but they should work. "I'll take anything," Kelsi said yawning profusely, as her and Ryan fashioned two little beds out of the curtains, bunching up the ends to use as pillows. "Well, see you in the morning," Ryan said as he went to turn off the stage lights. "Goodnight," Kelsi said, already half asleep, as Ryan began to get into his 'bed,' and watched Kelsi as her breathing slowed and she entered a deep and peaceful sleep.

**end of chapter**

Ryan had set his alarm for 5:00, more than enough time to give them to make it over to Kelsi's before her dad was awake. "So what exactly is your plan again?" Kelsi asked a few minutes after Ryan had woke her up. "Okay, your dad shouldn't be up yet right?" Ryan asked. "Yeah,"

"Okay, I'll drop you off at your house just before he gets up. You tell him that you got up early, and that you're getting a ride to school to finish up stuff for the musical, technically not even a lie. Then you call me, I'll pick you up, hopefully we can sneak back here before too many people get here, and we'll finish up during school."

"But what if someone walks in on us while we rehearse?" Kelsi asked, seeing a number of holes in Ryan's plan.

Ryan thought for a moment, and then said "Good point. Any chance we can sneak back into your house after your dad goes to work?"

"Yeah, that should work. He never comes home during the day so we should be safe there. But won't he notice that I'm wearing the same clothes and haven't even showered?" Ryan was silent after Kelsi brought this up. "No, he won't notice," he said, trying to convince both Kelsi and himself. "Well, it's the best plan we have," he said, clearly not able to convince himself that the plan was as good as he had thought it was when he formulated it in his sleep deprived state. "Okay, let's do this," Ryan said with all the mystique of a secret agent.

The first part of Ryan's plan actually went off pretty well. He dropped Kelsi off at her house, saying that he'd drive around the block and for Kelsi to call when she was ready. Kelsi quietly turned her key in the lock and opened the door, not even breathing. Seeing that her dad's door was firmly shut, she thought about sneaking past and at least changing her clothes, but as she was deciding whether or not to do this, the door turned, and her dad began to walk out. Fortunately, he was still half asleep, and Kelsi had time to sneak back into the kitchen without being seen.

Her dad walked into the bathroom, and a couple of minutes later Kelsi heard the shower turn on. Hoping that this would be a long enough distraction for her to get changed, she quickly but quietly ran to her room. However, she had temporarily that her dad took absurdly short showers, and only had enough time to change her hat and brush down her matted hair before the water turned off, and Kelsi ran quickly back into the kitchen. A minute later, she heard the bathroom door open and her dad walked out, fully dressed though still looking rather tired. "Hey sleepyhead," she said in a falsely cheery voice, trying to sound as if she had been up for a while. "Hi, Kels," her dad responded, "guess you had a late night last night. What time did you get back?"

At first, Kelsi was certain that her dad saw right through her and was trying to get her to admit to staying out all night, but eventually she guessed from the look on his face that he didn't suspect a thing. "Oh, 11, maybe 12," she said trying to sound calm. Well, anyway, we've got some last minute things to do for the show, so I'm getting a ride and we're going to work on it before school."

"Oh okay," Mr. Nielsen said, "hey…didn't you wear those clothes yesterday?" he asked suddenly. "What? No, I…I wore other clothes, than the ones that I'm wearing now. They weren't the same," Kelsi bumbled, "are you feeling okay?" she asked, trying to make him doubt himself. "Hmm, I don't know. I haven't been feeling great, maybe I'll stay home today," he told her. "You can't stay home!" Kelsi said, both too quickly and too desperately. "Why not?"

"Um, the economy," Kelsi said, recovering quickly. "I can't miss one day of work because of the economy?"

"Yeah, I mean, it's a tough world out there. You miss one day, and who knows, maybe they'll replace you the next," Kelsi said in a tone that she hoped would cover her nervousness. "Okay…" her dad said, growing suspicious. "Well, I mean…you always say the best way to get better is to get outside," Kelsi said, trying a different tactic, "you have to follow your own advice, right?"

"Okay Kels, but…is there any reason why you're trying to get me to go to work?"

"I'm sticking with the economy," Kelsi said, nodding fervently.

Despite Kelsi's awkward discussion with her dad, she finally managed to call Ryan and soon they were in his car, driving around near her house, close enough that they could tell when Mr. Nielsen was leaving, but far enough that he wouldn't be able to see them when he did leave. As it was taking longer than Kelsi expected for her dad to leave, she suggested that they begin to work on the lyrics there. "Yeah, sure," Ryan agreed, pulling out the music that they had written. "Now, I wasn't really sure how to begin it, but I definitely think we should have a line about-"

"He told me he loved me," Kelsi said quickly. "No, I was going to say that there should be a line that explains why-"

"No, the day that we…broke up. Jason had told me that he loved me."

"Oh," Ryan said, breathing in deeply. "I don't know why I told you that," Kelsi said, "but I think you were right. You did deserve to know…Even if I'm a bit late."

"Is that why you broke up with me?" Ryan asked, still speaking in an even tone. "No…it had nothing to do with that. Well, almost nothing. I mean, I don't know," Kelsi said guiltily. "It's okay if it was," Ryan said honestly, "I can't get mad if you have feelings for someone else," he told her. "I don't have feelings for Jason, and I never have," Kelsi said earnestly, "but I won't lie to you, it felt nice to have someone else feel that way about me."

"I felt that way about you Kelsi," Ryan reminded her. "I know, but he wasn't asking me for my love back, and you were. I mean, I should have been able to give it, but when he asked me I realized that I cared more about having someone love me than loving someone back. I just thought about how selfish I was being, and I knew I didn't want to use you any more than I already had," Kelsi said. Hearing herself say those words out loud, she suddenly felt terrible for ever thinking those thoughts.

"Don't worry about it Kelsi," Ryan told her. "You're not mad?" she asked. "I've been mad for too long. I guess I'm just over it now," he told her simply. "Does that mean you're over me?"

Ryan thought for a while about what she had asked him, still unsure of the answer even though he had been going through it in his mind for the entire time that he was waiting for Kelsi to call. "Oh look, your dad's leaving," he told her, inwardly praising the heavens that he had been saved from answering. "Oh, okay…let's go," Kelsi said, noting that Ryan had never answered the question.

Once safely in the house, and certain that her dad wouldn't return, Kelsi led Ryan to her piano and got a notepad and pen for each of them. "Well, let's get writing," Ryan said enthusiastically. "So we need a strong opening line," Kelsi said, "the music is so upbeat in the beginning that we have to have the lyrics to match it."

The lyrics turned out to be significantly harder to write than the music, though they managed to finish in a few hours. "Well, it's definitely not our masterpiece, but it'll run," Ryan said as they finished the last line. "Now we just need some choreography, which I know nothing about," Kelsi said honestly. "Well I guess it's good that that happens to be my area of expertise," Ryan said confidently. "Okay, you be Gabriella and I'll be my sister," Ryan told Kelsi (who resisted the urge to laugh at that awkward sounding statement), as he cleared a small area in Kelsi's living room for them to move. "Alright, now we should start at opposite ends of the stage, you stay here, I'll go there," Ryan told her as he walked to the other side of the room. "Now, you have the first line, so you can go on first." Kelsi walked on stage slowly. "Oh come on Kels, upbeat!" Ryan said energetically. Kelsi tried again, trying to add some pizzazz to her entrance. "You look too scared," Ryan admonished, "take a chance!" After several other attempted entrances, Kelsi's was finally up to Ryan's standards and they continued. After the initial trouble, Kelsi actually found it very easy to follow along with his instructions, and she finally saw why people enjoyed the non-musical side of musicals so much. It truly did give them a chance to lose all inhibitions and just take a chance.

"Well, not nearly enough jazz squares, but I think it came together pretty nicely," Ryan said, as he and Kelsi fell down on the floor in exhaustion, both of them sweating and laughing, after they had finished. "What time is it?" Kelsi asked. "One o'clock."

"And rehearsals are at four, right?"

"Yep."

"So, three hours of sleep?"

"That sounds like the best idea I've ever heard."

**end of chapter**

Ryan was woken by Kelsi shaking his side gently. "mggtmshmth," he mumbled. Kelsi laughed and said, "Come on, we have to go wow everyone with our song," she said jokingly. "Can't we just sleep?"

"I don't think they'd appreciate it if the directors were late to rehearsal," Kelsi reminded Ryan. After a few more minutes Ryan was finally up and ready to go. They got into his car and drove quickly to the school, both of them still very tired, but also feeling very good about what they had accomplished.

"This looks pretty good," Sharpay said as her and Gabriella looked at the lyrics and music. If Sharpay approved of a song, you could know for sure that it was good. "This part looks a little high for me though," Gabriella said as she pointed to a part in the chorus. "Don't worry, you can hit that," Kelsi said reassuringly. "Yeah, we wrote that especially for you, it'll be great," Ryan agreed. "Well, enough chitchat," Sharpay said, "let's get this song running."

Under Ryan's and Kelsi's direction, Sharpay and Gabriella were able to get the words and music down very quickly, and the choreography only took a little bit longer to master. It was also very helpful that Ryan and Kelsi seemed to be getting along much better than they had at previous rehearsals. Rather than constantly berating each other, they actually listened to the other's ideas, and even were seen joking around when they didn't think anyone was watching.

This change in attitude was noticed by just about everyone except for Ryan and Kelsi themselves. At one point, Sharpay pulled Ryan aside and asked if things were better between him and Kelsi, though she only got a teeth baring smile in return. Gabriella did the same with Kelsi, though Kelsi had offered nothing more than the same bright smile.

Ryan and Kelsi spent about two hours working on their song with Gabriella and Sharpay, and all four were very tired by the time they had it performance-ready, so Ryan suggested that they all take a short break. Everyone agreed, so they left the rest of the cast to work on their parts and stated wandering around the East High hallways. "I can't believe the show goes up tomorrow," Gabriella said nervously. "Are you guys nervous?" Kelsi asked. "Of course not," Sharpay said, though a second later she admitted, "well, maybe a little. But only because everyone else is so incompetent."

"What about you guys?" Gabriella asked Ryan and Kelsi, "you should be even more nervous than us."

Both Ryan and Kelsi looked at each other, smiled, and gave Gabriella a silent shrug. "Whatever happens happens," Kelsi said simply. "Yeah, there are more important things," Ryan, agreed, as he secretly watched Kelsi and temporarily got lost in his thoughts. "What's going on between you guys?" Sharpay asked suddenly. "What do you mean?" Ryan asked quickly. "Oh come one," said Gabriella, "yesterday you were ready to kill each other now you can't guys can't take your eyes off one another. What happened?" she asked, sounding just as eager as Sharpay had been. "We just…got over some things," Kelsi said. "So, are you guys going out?" Sharpay asked. "No," both Ryan and Kelsi said quickly. "We're just," Ryan began, "friends," Kelsi said.

"Friends who perfectly finish each other's sentences?" Gabriella asked with a coy and knowing smile. "Come on, we still need to put the finishing touches on things," Ryan said, eager to get out of the conversation. As they walked back to the theater, Sharpay and Gabriella gave each other excited glances, they knew what was soon to come.

Opening night was upon East High, and everyone ran around the dressing rooms. Some were nervously trying to remember last minute details, others attempting to lessen their nerves, and Sharpay led the rest in last minute voice exercises, making for an interesting mix of sounds that would have sounded like a séance to anyone not involved in the show. No one was as busy as Ryan and Kelsi. It seemed like every other moment someone was yelling out to Kelsi, asking her for her help remembering words to a song. Ryan was even busier, making sure everyone was in the right costume, and knew when they had to come on. At one point he even had to run up to the stage crew room to make sure that all of the lights were working.

But despite all the chaos before the show, it seemed like everything fell together when the first curtain opened. Of course, not everything was flawless. There were a couple of missed notes here and there, and one person nearly missed their line. But besides these small errors, everything went perfectly. Gabriella and Sharpay's song in particular sounded great. It got by far the most applause of all of the songs in the show. After the first couple of scenes, when everyone's nerves had died down a bit, Ryan was content to sit by and let the actor's do what he had prepared them to do for so long. He knew that him and Kelsi had done a good job, and highly enjoyed watching the results of his work.

Kelsi didn't have quite as much time to relax, as she was playing for piano in the pit orchestra for the majority of the show. But she also felt much less pressure than she was used to, and to her it often seemed like she was at home, playing her heart out for her own enjoyment. But when the last song was over, Kelsi's mind was completely off of music. She quietly got up from the piano bench and snuck out into the hall and went through the backstage door. She hadn't planned on doing this, but she knew that it was something that she had to do. Looking around frantically, she finally saw Ryan sitting by the curtain watching as everyone prepared to take their final bows.

Kelsi walked up and tapped him on the shoulder. Startled, he turned around, and smiled when he saw Kelsi. "Shouldn't you be by the piano," he asked, slightly confused. "I'm in love with you Ryan," she said, feeling like her heart was going to burst out of her chest. "Um, what?" Ryan asked, shocked, but obviously ecstatic. "I'm more in love with you than I ever thought I could be, and I really hope that you'll give me another chance, because I'm done being stupid. I know that I've messed up, and even now I'm terrified, but if I could only have one thing ever, it would be to spend every day of my life with you."

On stage, Sharpay was feeling frantic. "Where the hell is Ryan? He's supposed to take his bow!" she whispered to Gabriella under the audience's applause after they had taken their bows and retreated to the side of the stage. Gabriella was looking worried as well, until she glanced over and saw Ryan and Kelsi kissing and holding each other passionately just out of the audience's view on the side of the stage. "I think he's okay missing it."

**The end.**

**If you're still reading, thanks for putting up with that mega-chapter, and with the story as a whole. I know it was probably about twice as long as it had to be. Let me know how you liked it. Even though I did lose interest midway through, I'd still love to know how it turned out. **


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